This group of filters serves no utilitarian purpose but is nonetheless quite amusing and hence should be maintained for posterity.
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/* GNU Talkfilters
Copyright (C) 1998-2003 Free Software Foundation, Inc.
This file is part of GNU Talkfilters
GNU Talkfilters is free software; you can redistribute it and/or
modify it under the terms of the GNU General Public License as
published by the Free Software Foundation; either version 2, or (at
your option) any later version.
This software is distributed in the hope that it will be amusing, but
WITHOUT ANY WARRANTY; without even the implied warranty of
General Public License for more details.
You should have received a copy of the GNU General Public License
along with this software; see the file COPYING. If not, write to the
Free Software Foundation, 675 Mass Ave, Cambridge, MA 02139, USA.
%option prefix="cockney_yy"
%option outfile="lex.yy.c"
%option noyywrap
%option nowarn
* ken:
* will turn English into Cockney, featuring (dubious) rhyming slang for a lot
* of computer terminology.
* Written by Stephen K Mulrine <>
* Make copies if you want etc.etc.
* Contacted author in June 2001, asked him to clarify the license, he replied
* with some improvements and placed the program in the public domain.
* -- Edward Betts <> Mon, 11 Jun 2001 12:04:29 +0100
* ken is named after Ken the Chirpy Cockney Character from the Viz Comic (tm),
* who speaks somewhat like that.
%e 3000
%p 6000
%n 1000
%k 500
%a 4000
%o 2000
#include "common.h"
#include "talkfilters.h"
#define YY_DECL int yylex(gtf_databuf_t *buf)
WB [\n\t ]
WC [A-Za-z'0-9]
NW [^A-Za-z'0-9]
EOT \4
\<(\/)?[A-Za-z][^\>]*\> gtf_echo(); // don't damage HTML tags
[Tt]alk/{NW} gtf_puts_case("go on");
[Tt]alked/{NW} gtf_puts_case("went on");
[Tt]alking/{NW} gtf_puts_case("goin' on");
[Aa]s{WB}soon/{NW} gtf_puts_case("soon");
[Gg]oing{WB}to/{NW} gtf_puts_case("gonna");
[Aa]{WB}try/{NW} gtf_puts_case("a go");
[Oo][Kk]"." |
[Ff]ine/{NW} gtf_puts_case("not so bad");
Take/{NW} gtf_puts_case("'Ave");
take/{NW} gtf_puts_case("'ave");
Take{WB}a{WB}look/{NW} |
Look/{NW} gtf_puts_case("'Ave a look");
take{WB}a{WB}look/{NW} |
look/{NW} gtf_puts_case("'ave a look");
[Hh]onestly/{NW} |
[Ss]eriously/{NW} gtf_puts_case("straight up");
seam/{NW} gtf_puts_case("join");
[Gg]ood/{NW} { if(gtf_random(3) == 0)
gtf_puts_case("right good");
[Ll]end{WB}me/{NW} gtf_puts_case("borrow us");
[Ll]end/{NW} gtf_puts_case("borrow");
[Gg]ive{WB}me/{NW} gtf_puts_case("give us");
[Gg]ive{WB}up/{NW} gtf_puts_case("give over");
[Pp]ut{WB}it/{NW} gtf_puts_case("stick it");
[Pp]ut{WB}those/{NW} gtf_puts_case("stick those");
[Pp]ut{WB}them/{NW} gtf_puts_case("stick 'em");
[Dd]iscussion gtf_puts_case("chat"); BEGIN(INW);
[Tt]ry({WB}it)?/{NW} gtf_puts_case("give it a go");
[Oo]ur/{NW} gtf_puts_case("us");
[Ss]aw/{NW} gtf_puts_case("seen");
[Ss]ee/{NW} gtf_puts_case("spot");
[Ss]ees/{NW} gtf_puts_case("spots");
[Aa]{WB}lot/{NW} gtf_puts_case("a bit");
[Ll]ots{WB}of/{NW} gtf_puts_case("a bit a'");
[Aa]nyway/{NW} gtf_puts_case("any road, so");
[Aa]nyhow/{NW} gtf_puts_case("any road");
Around/{NW} gtf_puts_case("'Round");
around/{NW} gtf_puts_case("'round");
[Pp]ants/{NW} gtf_puts_case("kegs");
[Cc]lothes/{NW} gtf_puts_case("kit");
[Ss]occer/{NW} |
[Ff]ootball/{NW} gtf_puts_case("footie");
[Yy](ou{WB}|')all/{NW} gtf_puts_case("you lot");
[Nn]ude/{NW} gtf_puts_case("buff");
[Nn]aked/{NW} gtf_puts_case("stark bloody naked");
[Pp]laying({WB}around)?/{NW} |
[Hh]aving{WB}fun/{NW} gtf_puts_case("messing");
[Cc]lassy/{NW} gtf_puts_case("posh");
[Gg]et/{NW} gtf_puts_case("cop");
[Gg]etting/{NW} gtf_puts_case("copping");
[Gg]et{WB}me/{NW} gtf_puts_case("get us");
[Dd]own/{NW} gtf_puts_case("dahn");
[Dd]ownstairs/{NW} gtf_puts_case("down the apples and pears");
[Ee]yes/{NW} gtf_puts_case("mince pies");
[Pp]erhaps/{NW} gtf_puts_case("peraps");
[Ss]tairs/{NW} gtf_puts_case("apples and pears");
[Tt]own/{NW} gtf_puts_case("tahn");
[Uu]pstairs/{NW} gtf_puts_case("up the apples and pears");
[Pp]olice/{NW} |
[Cc]ops/{NW} |
[Pp]olice(wo)?men/{NW} gtf_puts_case("bobbies");
[Cc]op/{NW} |
[Pp]olice(wo)?man/{NW} gtf_puts_case("bobby");
[Ss]uit/{NW} gtf_puts_case("whistle and flute");
[Pp]rofessional |
[Ee]xpert gtf_puts_case("ace"); BEGIN(INW);
[Ll]ove gtf_puts_case("luv"); BEGIN(INW);
[Cc]lean gtf_puts_case("tidy"); BEGIN(INW);
[Mm]outh/{NW} gtf_puts_case("North and South");
[Ff]ace/{NW} gtf_puts_case("boat race");
[Tt]rouble/{NW} gtf_puts_case("Barney Rubble");
[Ww]ife/{NW} { switch(gtf_random(2))
case 0: gtf_puts_case("trouble and strife"); break;
case 1: gtf_puts_case("ole lady"); break;
[Rr]oad/{NW} gtf_puts_case("frog and toad");
[Pp]ub/{NW} gtf_puts_case("rub-a-dub");
[Pp]ubs/{NW} gtf_puts_case("rub-a-dubs");
[Bb]ar/{NW} gtf_puts_case("boozer");
[Bb]ars/{NW} gtf_puts_case("boozers");
[Hh]usband/{NW} gtf_puts_case("ole man");
[Pp]arty gtf_puts_case("knees-up");
[Pp]arties/{NW} gtf_puts_case("knees-ups");
[Mm]y/{NW} gtf_puts_case("me");
[Yy]ou/{NW} gtf_puts_case("yer");
[Yy]ou({WB}are|r)? gtf_puts_case("yor");
[Yy]ou({WB}a|')re/{NW} gtf_puts_case("yor");
[Tt]hose/{NW} gtf_puts_case("them");
[Tt]he/{NW} { switch(gtf_random(5))
case 0: gtf_puts_case("the bleedin'"); break;
case 1: gtf_puts_case("the bloody"); break;
case 2: gtf_puts_case("the bloomin'"); break;
case 3: gtf_puts_case("the chuffin'"); break;
default: gtf_echo();
[Tt]his gtf_echo(); BEGIN(INW);
[Tt]hat gtf_echo(); BEGIN(INW);
[Tt]hus/{NW} |
[Hh]ence/{NW} gtf_puts_case("so");
[Tt]han gtf_echo(); BEGIN(INW);
[Ww]ho gtf_echo(); BEGIN(INW);
old/{NW} gtf_puts_case("ole");
to/{NW} gtf_puts("ter");
[Ww]hat gtf_puts_case("wot"); BEGIN(INW);
[Ww]as/{NW} gtf_puts_case("were");
[Aa]ren't{WB}you/{NW} gtf_puts_case("Aintcha ");
[Aa]ren't/{NW} |
[Aa]re{WB}not/{NW} |
[Ii]s({WB}no|n')t/{NW} gtf_puts_case("Ain't");
[Ww]hat({WB}i|')s{WB}that/{NW} gtf_puts_case("wossat");
[Ww]hat({WB}i|')s/{NW} gtf_puts_case("woss");
[Ww]hat({WB}a|')re{WB}you(r)?/{NW} |
[Ww]hat{WB}you({WB}a|')re/{NW} |
[Ww]hat{WB}do{WB}you(r)?/{NW} gtf_puts_case("wotcher");
[Ww]atch{WB}it/{NW} gtf_puts_case("wotchit");
[Ii]({WB}a|')m/{NW} { switch(gtf_random(2))
{ case 0: gtf_puts_case("I'm bloody well"); break;
default: gtf_echo();
[Ww]hat{WB}is{WB}th gtf_puts_case("Woss"); BEGIN(INW);
[Ww]hat{WB}you({WB}a|')re/{NW} gtf_puts_case("wotcher");
[Ww]hat{WB}(are|do){WB}you(r)? gtf_puts_case("wotcher");
H[aeu]llo/{NW} gtf_puts_case("'Allo");
h[aeu]llo/{NW} gtf_puts_case("'allo");
[Ww]hat gtf_puts_case("wot"); BEGIN(INW);
[Ww]ere/{NW} gtf_puts_case("was");
[Bb]other gtf_puts_case("ars"); BEGIN(INW);
[Bb]oys/{NW} gtf_puts_case("fellas");
[Mm]other gtf_puts_case("Muvver"); BEGIN(INW);
[Mm]om gtf_puts_case("mum"); BEGIN(INW);
[Aa]rrest |
[Ss]teal |
[Bb]ust gtf_puts_case("nick"); BEGIN(INW);
[Ss]tole(n)?/{NW} |
[Hh]andcuffed/{NW} gtf_puts_case("nicked");
[Hh]ell/{NW} gtf_puts_case("hell fire");
[Uu]neployed/{NW} gtf_puts_case("on dole");
[Rr]ude/{NW} |
[Ss]assy/{NW} |
[Ii]mpudent/{NW} gtf_puts_case("cheeky");
[Tt]elephone/{NW} |
[Pp]hone/{NW} gtf_puts_case("dog and bone");
[Pp]erson gtf_puts_case("bloke"); BEGIN(INW);
[Pp]eople gtf_puts_case("blokes"); BEGIN(INW);
([Aa]n{WB})?[Aa]merican/{NW} |
[Yy]ank(ee)?/{NW} gtf_puts_case("a septic tank"); BEGIN(INW);
[Oo]ld{WB}man/{NW} |
[Gg]entleman/{NW} gtf_puts_case("geezer"); BEGIN(INW);
[Oo]ld{WB}men/{NW} |
[Gg]entlemen/{NW} gtf_puts_case("geezers"); BEGIN(INW);
[Gg]uy gtf_puts_case("lad"); BEGIN(INW);
[Ss]omeone/{NW} gtf_puts_case("some bloke");
[Ss]omebody/{NW} gtf_puts_case("some geezer");
[Oo]ther gtf_puts_case("uvver"); BEGIN(INW);
[Aa]nother gtf_puts_case("aunuvver"); BEGIN(INW);
[Hh]i/{NW} gtf_puts_case("oi");
[Ww]ow/{NW} |
[Yy]ay/{NW} |
[Yy]ahoo/{NW} gtf_puts_case("cor");
[Hh]oora(y|h)/{NW} |
[Yy]eehaw/{NW} |
[Gg]eez/{NW} |
[Gg]osh/{NW} |
[Gg]olly/{NW} gtf_puts_case("blimey");
[Hh]ey/{NW} { switch(gtf_random(2))
{ case 0: gtf_puts_case("eh, up"); break;
case 1: gtf_puts_case("oi"); break;
[Cc]ow/{NW} gtf_puts_case("cah");
[Ss]tate{WB}of{WB}the{WB}art/{NW} gtf_puts_case("top o' the range");
[Ff]ather gtf_puts_case("favver"); BEGIN(INW);
[Rr]ather/{NW} gtf_puts_case("ravver");
[Ww]eather gtf_puts_case("wevver"); BEGIN(INW);
[Ll]eather/{NW} gtf_puts_case("Levver");
[Ww]ither/{NW} gtf_puts_case("wivver");
[Ee]ither/{NW} gtf_puts_case("eever");
[Ss]mart gtf_puts_case("keen"); BEGIN(INW);
[Ww]ith gtf_puts_case("wiv"); BEGIN(INW);
[Aa]nything/{NW} gtf_puts_case("anyfink");
[Ss]omething/{NW} gtf_puts_case("sumfink");
[Nn]othing/{NW} gtf_puts_case("nuffink");
[Ee]verything/{NW} gtf_puts_case("evryfink");
[Vv]ery/{NW} |
[Rr]eally/{NW} gtf_puts_case("right");
[Bb]other/{NW} gtf_puts_case("bovver");
[Dd]umb gtf_puts_case("daft"); BEGIN(INW);
[Cc]ool{WB}it/{NW} |
[Cc]hill{WB}out/{NW} gtf_puts_case("don't get a benny on");
[Ii]mmoral |
[Cc]rude gtf_puts_case("naughty"); BEGIN(INW);
[Pp]rofanity/{NW} gtf_puts_case("naughty language");
[Ss]wear{WB}word gtf_puts_case("naughty word"); BEGIN(INW);
[Gg]et{WB}over/{NW} gtf_puts_case("grow out");
[Gg]ot{WB}over/{NW} gtf_puts_case("grew out");
[Gg]otten{WB}over/{NW} gtf_puts_case("grown out");
[Ss]uppose/{NW} gtf_puts_case("s'pose");
[Kk]ind{WB}of/{NW} gtf_puts_case("sort of");
[Dd]oesn't/{NW} gtf_puts_case("don't");
[Gg]uitar(s)?/{NW} |
[Dd]rum(s)?/{NW} |
[Tt]rumpet(s)?/{NW} |
[Vv]iolin(s)?/{NW} |
[Cc]larinet(s)?/{NW} |
[Tt]rombone(s)?/{NW} |
[Oo]boe(s)?/{NW} |
[Ff]lute(s)?/{NW} |
[Tt]uba(s)?/{NW} gtf_puts_case("spoons");
[Pp]iano/{NW} gtf_puts_case("joanna");
[Dd]ata gtf_puts_case("Info"); BEGIN(INW);
[Dd]irectory/{NW} gtf_puts_case("Lockup");
[Dd]irectories/{NW} gtf_puts_case("Lockups");
[Pp]rocess { switch(gtf_random(2))
case 0: gtf_puts_case("Queen Bess"); break;
case 1: gtf_puts_case("Rudolf 'Ess"); break;
[Cc]omputer gtf_puts_case("French Tutor"); BEGIN(INW);
[Bb]yte gtf_puts_case("Jimmy White"); BEGIN(INW);
[Ff]iles gtf_puts_case("Nobby Stiles"); BEGIN(INW);
[Ff]ile gtf_puts_case("Royal Mile"); BEGIN(INW);
[Ll]anguage gtf_puts_case("'Am Sandwich"); BEGIN(INW);
[Zz]ero gtf_puts_case("Emperor Nero"); BEGIN(INW);
[Jj]ob gtf_puts_case("Uncle Bob"); BEGIN(INW);
[Ss]hell gtf_puts_case("Bow Bell"); BEGIN(INW);
[Ss]ave gtf_puts_case("Chas'n'Dave"); BEGIN(INW);
[Ll]oad gtf_puts_case("Old Kent Road"); BEGIN(INW);
[Mm]ouse gtf_puts_case("Doll's 'Ouse"); BEGIN(INW);
[Bb]uffer gtf_puts_case("Sausage Stuffer"); BEGIN(INW);
[Kk]eyboard gtf_puts_case("Henry Ford"); BEGIN(INW);
[Mm]anual gtf_puts_case("Cocker Spaniel"); BEGIN(INW);
[Ss]creen gtf_puts_case("James Dean"); BEGIN(INW);
[Pp]rinter gtf_puts_case("'Arold Pinter"); BEGIN(INW);
[Pp]lotter gtf_puts_case("Pansy Potter"); BEGIN(INW);
[Cc]ompiler gtf_puts_case("Martin Tyler"); BEGIN(INW);
[Ss]tring gtf_puts_case("Emperor Ming"); BEGIN(INW);
[Bb]rain gtf_puts_case("Michael Caine"); BEGIN(INW);
[Pp][Aa][Ss][Cc][Aa][Ll]/{NW} { switch(gtf_random(2))
case 0: gtf_puts_case("Pall Mall"); break;
case 1: gtf_puts_case("Roald Dahl"); break;
[Aa][Ll][Gg][Oo][Ll]/{NW} gtf_puts_case("Johnny Ball");
[Ff][Oo][Rr][Tt][Rr][Aa][Nn]/{NW} gtf_puts_case("Manfred Mann");
[Cc][Oo][Bb][Oo][Ll]/{NW} gtf_puts_case("Albert Hall");
C/{NW} { switch(gtf_random(4))
case 0: gtf_puts_case("Bruce Lee"); break;
case 1: gtf_puts_case("Circus Flea"); break;
case 2: gtf_puts_case("Bumble Bee"); break;
case 3: gtf_puts_case("Door Key"); break;
[Jj]ava/{NW} gtf_puts_case("Wot a palavah");
[Ww][aA][pP]/{NW} gtf_puts_case("Pony and trap");
[Ll]oon(e)?y |
[Ff]ruitcake |
[Nn]utcase gtf_puts_case("nutter"); BEGIN(INW);
[Bb]ook gtf_puts_case("butcher's hook"); BEGIN(INW);
[Ss]topped/{NW} gtf_puts_case("'Ad the mockers put on");
[Ss]topping/{NW} gtf_puts_case("Putting the mockers on");
stops/{NW} gtf_puts_case("puts the mockers on");
[Ss]top/{NW} gtf_puts_case("put the mockers on");
[Ll]ondoner gtf_puts_case("Cockney"); BEGIN(INW);
[Hh] gtf_puts_case("'"); BEGIN(INW);
[Mm]ini(ature)? |
[Tt]iny |
[Ll]ittle |
[Ss]mall gtf_puts_case("wee"); BEGIN(INW);
[Mm]oney/{NW} gtf_puts_case("brass");
[Pp]al/{NW} |
[Bb]uddy/{NW} gtf_puts_case("mate");
[Pp]als/{NW} gtf_puts_case("mates");
[Ff]riend { switch(gtf_random(3))
case 0: gtf_puts_case("mucker"); break;
case 1: gtf_puts_case("mate"); break;
case 2: gtf_puts_case("china"); break;
[Ww]oman/{NW} { switch(gtf_random(4))
{ case 0: gtf_puts_case("bint"); break;
case 1: gtf_puts_case("cow"); break;
case 2: gtf_puts_case("lass"); break;
case 3: gtf_puts_case("tart"); break;
[Ww]omen/{NW} { switch(gtf_random(4))
{ case 0: gtf_puts_case("bints"); break;
case 1: gtf_puts_case("cows"); break;
case 2: gtf_puts_case("ruddy ladies"); break;
case 3: gtf_puts_case("tarts"); break;
[Tt]hing { switch(gtf_random(2))
{ case 0: gtf_puts_case("fink");
case 1: gtf_puts_case("bugger");
[Dd]evil |
[Rr]ascal |
[Aa]sshole |
[Dd]ork |
[Dd]olt |
[Nn]erd |
[Ii]diot { switch(gtf_random(6))
{ case 0: gtf_puts_case("bog eyes"); break;
case 1: gtf_puts_case("poof"); break;
case 2: gtf_puts_case("git"); break;
case 3: gtf_puts_case("fairy"); break;
case 4: gtf_puts_case("tosser"); break;
case 5: gtf_puts_case("divvy"); break;
[Bb]e{WB}quiet/{NW} |
[Ss]hut{WB}up/{NW} { switch(gtf_random(2))
{ case 0: gtf_puts_case("shut it"); break;
default: gtf_puts_case("Button it"); break;
[Aa]l(l{WB})?right/{NW} { switch(gtf_random(3))
{ case 0: gtf_puts_case("arright"); break;
case 1: gtf_puts_case("awright"); break;
case 2: gtf_puts_case("right"); break;
[Cc]igarette gtf_puts_case("fag"); BEGIN(INW);
[Gg]oing/{NW} gtf_puts_case("gahn");
[Bb]ring |
[Ss]ting |
[Ss]wing |
[CcFfSs]ling |
[BbKkMmPpRrSsWw]ing gtf_echo(); BEGIN(INW);
[Tt]here |
[Tt]hey |
[Tt]his |
[Tt]hat gtf_echo(); BEGIN(INW);
Th gtf_puts("F"); BEGIN(INW);
[Mm]r"."/{NW} gtf_puts("Guvnor");
[Ww]hy |
[Ww]here | gtf_echo(); BEGIN(INW);
[Ww]h gtf_puts_case("W"); BEGIN(INW);
[Oo]f/{NW} gtf_puts_case("o'");
{WC} { BEGIN(INW); gtf_echo(); }
[Aa]{WB}h gtf_puts_case("an '");
aw gtf_puts_case("or");
ing/{NW} gtf_puts_case("in'"); BEGIN(NIW);
"." { switch(gtf_random(32))
case 0:
gtf_puts_case(". I'll get out me spoons.");
case 1:
gtf_puts_case(". Yer can't 'ave a knees-up wivout a joanna.");
case 2:
gtf_puts_case(". Cor blimey guv, would I lie to you.");
case 3:
gtf_puts_case(". I'll make us all a nice cup a' tea.");
case 4:
gtf_puts_case(", do wot Guvnor!");
case 5:
gtf_puts_case(", right?");
case 6:
gtf_puts_case(". Right.");
case 7:
case 8:
gtf_puts_case(", i'n it?");
"?" { if(gtf_random(3) == 0)
gtf_puts(", isit?");
case 0: gtf_puts(", then"); break;
case 1: gtf_puts(", eh"); break;
case 2: gtf_puts(", then, eh"); break;
case 0: gtf_puts(", mate?"); break;
case 1: gtf_puts(", guv?"); break;
case 2: gtf_puts(", squire?"); break;
case 3: gtf_puts(", luv?"); break;
default: gtf_echo();
, { if(gtf_random(3) == 0)
gtf_puts(", right,");
! { switch(gtf_random(7))
case 0: gtf_puts_case("! Blimey!"); break;
case 1: gtf_puts_case("! Struth!"); break;
case 2: gtf_puts_case("! Right!"); break;
case 3: gtf_puts_case(", guv!"); break;
case 4: gtf_puts_case("! Honest, guv!"); break;
case 5: gtf_puts_case("! Oi!"); break;
case 6: gtf_puts_case(", mate!"); break;
default: gtf_echo();
{NW} BEGIN(NIW); unput(yytext[0]);
{EOT} /* ignore trailing EOT character */
. gtf_echo();
int gtf_filter_cockney(const char *input, char *buf, size_t bufsz)
gtf_databuf_t buffer;
gtf_strbuf_init(&buffer, buf, bufsz);
_yybuf = yy_scan_string(input);
int __gtf_filter_cockney(const char *input, char *buf, size_t bufsz)
return(gtf_filter_cockney(input, buf, bufsz));
#else /* LIBRARY_MODE */
int main(int argc, char **argv)
#endif /* LIBRARY_MODE */
/* end of source file */