250 lines
14 KiB
Markdown
250 lines
14 KiB
Markdown
# Chapter 1
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## Naked and Alone
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[[41]] I woke up naked and alone in a cold dark prison cell. I had no memory of
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how I got here. In fact as I thought about it I couldn't remember anything
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about anything. How cliche I thought, amnesia! I shivered and looked down at my
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body. Against all the odds I found myself in good health, clean, and
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uninjured. I ran my hands down the sides of my trim, toned, almost wiry body
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and admired myself. I was in excellent shape. I admired as well my dark almost
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reddish brown skin. I did discover some old scar tissue on my sides, a criss
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cross of what must have been once a serious wound on my thigh: claw marks?
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Teeth? Knife wounds? So strange to bear such marks but no memories. I must be
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or have been some sort of warrior I thought. Maybe a hunter. I tried to conjure
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something out of the association but nothing came. Or maybe I'm some sort of an
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outlaw. Who might have captured me I wondered, and placed me in this cell. I
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gingerly touched my face and discovered another cruel long gash extending from
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my forehead, crossing my left eye, cheek, and lips.
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Wow, I thought, it is a wonder I'm not blind in that eye, or maybe I am? I
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closed my eye and gently touched the outside of my eyelid. It felt okay but how
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can I tell? My cell was pitch black [[ed. you just looked at your own skin so
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make up your mind]]. Perhaps I was totally blind, but I didn't think so. I had
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it in my mind that being actually blind would somehow be different from total
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darkness, but I couldn't remember where I got such an idea. About then another
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idea came into my head. If I never see any light will I eventually lose my mind?
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I felt like that was a thing. I started then to wonder whether worrying about
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losing my mind could cause me to panic. I didn't feel panicked. I didn't even
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feel as worried as I think a woman should feel upon finding herself naked and
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alone in a dungeon cell. I only felt a kind of eager anticipation, almost
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exhilaration. Weird. [[43]]I'm pretty sure that's not how people are supposed to feel
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in prisons or dungeons or ... oubliettes. Oh my god what a word. Oubliette. A
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place where prisoners were thrown to be forgotten. Was I being starved? I had no
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memory of ever having been fed in this place. Wait maybe the oubliette has made
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me forget everything. I don't think that's what the word is supposed to mean but
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then how can I trust anything. The notion of being left to die of thirst of
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starvation should be really horrifying. Surely that idea should get my heart
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racing and make me start to hyperventilate with anxiety or something. But no. I
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put my hand on my neck to feel my pulse. Calm and relaxed. How smooth my throat
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felt. No marks or scars. I wondered how I looked. Immediately an image appeared
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of a woman, strong, lean, athletic. Beautiful but rough edged, skin that matched
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the endless red sands of... of where? Where was I from? Where had I been? My
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hair was closely shaved on each side but jutted out in thick red spiky locks all
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over the top of my crown.
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Was that really me I was seeing in my minds eye? Well I hope so because if so I
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am extremely hot. I wondered if I was getting my memories back. I reached up and
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touched the sides of my head and the crown, close shaved and messy just as I
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imagined. Is this proof my memories are returning? It didn't feel like that, if
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anything it felt almost as though my hair hadn't existed until I thought about
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it. As though my own imagination was leading the way. Dream! That's it this is
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probably a dream. If I just wait I'll probably wake up now that I've identified
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the situation. I waited. I did not wake up. Nothing happened. I couldn't decide
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what was going on. It was hard to pin down why but none of this felt the way I
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imagine recovering from memory loss should feel. But then what would I know
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about recovering from amnesia would feel like? This entire train of thought was
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rapidly going nowhere so I derailed it and returned to more scientific
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questions.
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Like how do I even know I'm really in a dungeon. This took no time to to
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confirm. I reached out with both arms to each side of me and immediately slammed
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my right into a dry stone wall and found my left hand coming up against the icy
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cold iron bars of a cell. "Hmph" I snorted half in pain, and half in fear that I
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might have called these stupid bars into existence by imagining them. That would
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be idiotic. Surely I could have the presence of mind have imagined myself waking
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up beneath silk sheets on a luxurious palanquin begin carried towards a soothing
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tropical oasis or riad. Or in a temple surrounded by devoted dancers... I took a
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moment to close my eyes and [[45]] concentrate on just such a scene, wondering
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as I did so where these images were even coming from. For just a second I felt
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or remembered a warm touch, a soft silky caress, a hand, cream coloured on my
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darker... What!? My eyes jolted open and no, it didn't work I was still cold,
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alone, and locked up in the pitch black... Wait no. What is that? There was a
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flicker of something. In the otherwise pure uninterrupted night there was a
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flaw, a flame. I blinked each eye, one at a time and saw with satisfaction that
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each eye agreed, the light was real and both of my eyes were fully functional.
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The light bobbed and flickered as though being carried. That was because someone
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was carrying it. As it approached, it grew painfully bright to my eyes. It was
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like seeing the sun for the first time I imagined. I had seen the sun before.
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Right? I was now actually blinded by its brilliance but I could not tear my
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thirsty gaze away from this glorious fire.
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"The last one is awake." a voice came from the flickering void just behind the
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light. It sounded muted as though the speaker were turned away from me
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addressing another. "I'll process her and you handle the surface delivery. Then
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we can all go home for the night."
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From deeper in the dark came a muffled and incomprehensible reply.
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"No" spoke the first voice again from behind the flame. I was beginning to make
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out a figure, cowled and obscured. A woman's voice, perhaps. "I've got it. Just
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stay ready in case" there was a pause, "in case she chooses to do things the
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hard way."
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Then louder and clearly, yes it was a woman's voice, strangely accented, and she
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must be facing me now, looking at me from behind the flame.
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"You don't want to do things the hard way do you?"
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At this point the flame was directly outside the bars of my cell. The vertical
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bars of the cage, silhouetted against the light cast shadowy stripes sectioning
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my body and face as I stood up [[47]] open mouthed and looking dumbfounded.
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Finally I could see a hint of the face of the first voice's high bronze brow and
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a finely sculpted nose. Her eyes were lost in shadow.
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"No? Good." She seemed to take my stupefaction as compliance and quite frankly I
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was at a loss for any idea of what I might do to make things either hard or
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easy. Escape if you can! I thought to myself. To go where? I asked myself in
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reply. I felt as though if only I could formulate some destination in mind I
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might be able to cobble together a plan. I think I had done so in the past. I
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felt as though I had in fact escaped from captivity more than once in the past,
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but now things were different. In the past I had places to go, people to see,
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and a purpose to follow. Now, I had nothing.
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Perhaps the situation was not that my memory had been wiped but the whole world
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as I knew it had been obliterated leaving only me, this cell and this stranger.
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And possibly the other one she spoke to out of my hearing. I felt this dreadful
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fear that if I were to kill or overpower her and her colleague and flea from
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this cell I would discover only emptiness. I would exchange this cold cell for
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the immaculate void, for an aimless, endless, suffocating abyss. Thinking this
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thought made me finally feel fear for the first time since waking, since memory
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started. I shuddered then, suddenly chilled and aware immediately of my exposed
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nakedness before this stranger. [[49]] I looked up into the flame with a
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plaintiff expression and covered myself, crossing my arms over my breasts.
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"Please" I said. "the easy way."
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"Very good choice exile!" the woman boomed, a slight mocking tone in her praise
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but without any apparent malice. Her tone lacked the subtle or overt sneering
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sadism I expected from jailers. For what else could I call her but that? Her
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voice though held more of a sense of teasing anticipation, as though looking
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forward to bringing me into an inside joke that only she understood at the
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moment.
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"So listen to me exile. If we're going to do this the easy way it means you will
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answer my questions quickly and truthfully. When you've answered what I ask, I
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shall tell you what you need to know to get out of here and begin a productive
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new life here in Exilium." She smiled. "Oh look, do you see what I did there? I
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actually gave you some fresh information already. I bet you didn't know that was
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the name of the world you were in did you? Of course you didn't it's wouldn't be
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possible for you to know. Not yet. But maybe you'll understand later. Now I've
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said enough and it's definitely your turn. Here's your first question: What is
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your name?"
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"My name?"
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"Yes my sweet, your name."
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This stumped me, obviously. Should I have been surprised. I mean isn't
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forgetting your own name the most typical part of the old 'amnesia' trope? I
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almost thought she must be mocking me still.
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"Why are you asking me?" I snapped. "Why would you be keeping me in this prison
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if you didn't even know who I was? Shouldn't you know everything you need to
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know about me already?"
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"Oh no my precious. That is not at all how it works. Right now, you need to say
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your name. Until you say it, it cannot be known. Go ahead, just say your name.
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I'll let you know if you say something wrong."
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As odd as she sounded, I felt like something fell into place just then. I wasn't
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sure what, but I didn't feel so uncertain.
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"Yyanu!" I blurted out, surprised even at the strength of my own sudden
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certainty both that this was my name and also that I had never heard such a word
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before.
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"Yyanu?"
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"Yyanu. Yyanu Nav" I expanded decisively.
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"Okay" the jailer finally accepted with equanimity. "That's fine. Now for your
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next question: Have you revi..."
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...
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The rest of her second as well as what must have been several more following it
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seem to have taken place outside of my mind. I know she asked me several more
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questions and I know that I answered but I do not remember. Upon reflection it
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feels as though the rest of my interrogation was something that happened to
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someone else. It is as if I stepped outside myself for a while and certain
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things were decided and an understanding was reached about me but without me.
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"Well that is just perfect, my child." was the next thing I recall her saying
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and she said it with unmitigated approval and almost, did I imagine it,
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affection. "I'm sure you'll fit right in. Let me give you something to wear.
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It's not much but better than nothing. Take this." [[53]] She reached between
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the bars, allowing me a glimpse of an exquisitely smooth golden-hued wrist and
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delicate fingers, and handed me a rough-spun, threadbare shift. I agreed with
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her that it was not much. Whether it was better than nothing might be up for
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debate. It felt well worn and I wondered what had become of it's past owner or
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wearers might be more accurate. I took it and turned away in a quaint
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performance of modesty only to hear the jailer cluck appreciatively at the view
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from behind. I rolled my shoulders and flexed slightly for her benefit but said
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nothing.
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The shift settled on my shoulders, falling above my knees. It did next to
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nothing against the chill and even less in the cause of decency but it was still
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technically clothing and so at least I was no longer technically naked. I turned
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around to find her still appraising me until I finally lost my patience and
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snapped. "Well are you letting me out of here or just planning to keep me in
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this cage for your own amusement?"
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Clink! chimed the heavy iron key, which she must have slipped into the lock
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while I was turned away. Without breaking eye contact the smirking jailer swung
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the barred cell door wide open for me.
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"Trust me love, releasing you into our world will provide me infinitely more
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amusement than keeping you here. You'll see. Come." she said, challenging me to
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accept this inexplicable freedom. I stepped over the threshold, pushing myself
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through a fresh wave of doubt. The whole 'amnesia' thing was starting to seem
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questionable. I had a queasy feeling that there were no memories awaiting me out
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there. That I would never recall my past because there was nothing to remember.
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I was becoming increasingly convinced that once I escaped this prison I would
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spend the rest of my life in the dark about what if anything had come before.
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[[55]] The next few hours of my life were no less disconcerting. The jailer with
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the lingering eyes passed me immediately into the custody of another, second
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jailer who by way of contrast seemed to find me utterly boring. He had nothing
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to say as he lead me down a long unlighted rough hewn stone tunnel. I had to
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keep close to him and his feeble lamp to see anything at all but he paid me no
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heed. At one point I dared a quick glance behind and saw the first jailer
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standing exactly as I had left her, still holding her lantern and still gazing
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at me with her leering smile. Why did she stay like that. Didn't she have
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somewhere better to be than in this pit? Unnerved I faced forward and never
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looked back again.
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As for the second jailer, if that's a fair title for someone who showed no
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interest in jailing people, I got the strong impression that he had a long
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itemized list of placed he'd rather be than in the dark with me. Hurrying down
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the corridor I got only a glimpse of his young face and world weary, impatient
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eyes. Our hasty, stumbling on my part, flight down the corridor ended at another
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cage, I flinched back afraid I was only about to be confined again but the young
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man stepped in himself and stood waiting and for the first time favoured me with
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an actual look, of weary contempt.
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"This is an elevator. It's a thing that goes up." He spoke slowly as though I
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was an idiot who didn't know what an elevator was. "It's the only way out of
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here."
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"Ugh! I know what an eleva..." I started but by that point he'd thrown a lever
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which created a shrieking cacophony of grinding metal gears and the cage began
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to lurch upwards. I dove forward in a panic at being left behind. He didn't even
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have the courtesy to sneer at me but closed the cage door with a tired sigh as I
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tried to regain my composure.
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[[...57]][[Consider omission of some expo and smells but include in a branch
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called "smells"]]
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As the cage lift screeched and rumbled to a stop the world began to resolve
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itself for my benefit.
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