262 lines
13 KiB
Plaintext
262 lines
13 KiB
Plaintext
Poor Ed is Dead
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: Did you hear the news about Edward?
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: On the back of his head he had another face.
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: Was it a woman's face? Or a young girl?
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: They said to remove it would kill him,
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: So Poor Edward was doomed.
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: She was his devil twin.
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: Bound together for life.
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: At night she would speak to him.
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: Things heard only in Hell.
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: Finally the bell tolled his doom.
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: He took a suite of rooms,
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: and hung himself and her from the balcony irons
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: Some still believe he was freed from her.
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: But I knew her too well.
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: I say she drove him to suicide
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: and took Poor Edward to Hell.
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*I* knew her too well
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: This story isn't about Edward. It isn't entirely about
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: her, either. It is about me and how I knew her so well.
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: And what I know now.
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She was his devil twin
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Were they both devils?
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Things heard only in hell.
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Did he understand words said only in Hell?
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Or did she speak to him but only listeners in Hell could here?
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It makes sense if they were devil twins that they would return together to Hell.
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Bound together for life
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: Does this mean they were bound together until they died?
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: Or does it mean they were bound together for the purpose of being
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: alive? As in being bound together was a prerequisite for either of
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: them to get to experience life? Again, as devil twins they would
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: share this parameter.
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Or a young girl?
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: Why is her age the dominant mystery? What is the range of possible
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: ages we contemplate for her? What about Edward's age? Doe he have a
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: man's face or a young boys?
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Whose head was it anyway?
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: Would she agree that she was on the back of Edward's head or was he on
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: the back of hers?
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I knew *her* to well
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: Did she speak to me too? What did she say to me? Were these also words
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: heard only in hell? Where am I from?
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Second Summoning Notes
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: Second summoning is a short story, perhaps a chapter, in which I summon
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: my second demon. I'm composing it longhand with a hero pen in a black
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: clairfontaine notebook. Here are some notes I put down in the monthly
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: bullet journal:
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Maybe start the story already swapped.
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: so that my physical descriptions conflict with the pronoun usage for
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: extra entertainment.
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ah-A! is in my "male" body while I'm in her "female" body
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The demon's true name is ah-A!
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but when I'm in its body I use a chosen name
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what is the my main character's undead name?
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"You're doing it wrong!"
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Not looking in/out but in adjusting the flame before the sacrifice
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Sacrifice and the laws of infernal dynamics
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: to summon a demon, or at least to bind it in the material plane of
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: existence, terrestrial matter and/or energy must be swapped
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: with the infernal. Something has to leave this universe in order for
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: something to enter. Fire is popular in rituals because it
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: effectively camoflages the swap. Hmm this seemed do clever before.
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:
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: Well I was also saying the physical elements are typically swapped
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: for analogous infernal matter. So the materials you sacrifice will
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: lend some qualities to the demonic tissues you summon.
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:
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Demonic need is a void
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: A demon's need is a moral void that leaks out of the
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: universe and cannot be plugged until or unless the demon is
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: banished. Just as a physical sacrifice is necessary to bring
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: something material across the divide a regular moral sacrifice is
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: necessary to maintain the demon's unsoul here in the material realm.
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:
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: In the second or third EG book by OSC may he burn, people were
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: genetically selected to pass on OCD as a trait. When it manifest,
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: the god botherers or whatever were tormented in a fashion where they
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: could not get themselves clean and had to invent a ritual which
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: would absolve them of their OCD anxiety. (I have no idea how
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: accurate OSC's depiction of OCD was and I'm not planning to find
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: out). In this story however, binding a demon cuts it off from its
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: infernal realm and forces it to invent a material moral analog; an
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: earthly proxy which can more or less sustain it as long as it exists
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: on the plane. The need does not exist in the place they come from.
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: It only arises upon arrival and during the binding process.
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:
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: A sorcerer perhaps can try to influence some aspect of the need by
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: controlling the environment where the binding ritual is performed.
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: However results are notoriously unpredictable.
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Binding bloopers
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: A scholarly archivist(cover) sorcerer once performed a binding
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: ritual in a vast public library hoping that the demon would
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: develop a need to read, or critique literature or something.
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: This the scholar thought would be easy enough for her to supply.
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: However the demon could have just as easily manifest a need to
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: burn books, or to perform depraved re-enactments found in some
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: prurient pulp in the fiction section. As it happened, the
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: sorcerer's sister had brought her toddler to visit the archives
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: just two days ago. During the visit the sorcerer's nephew had
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: gotten lost in the stacks and the brief but searing panic felt
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: by both sisters came back to her mind during the binding. As a
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: result the demon revealed it had a need to cause parents to lose
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: track of their offspring on a semi-regular basis.
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:
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: The demon was powerful and well suited to the task for which she
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: had summoned it but the sorcerer soon had to banish it due to
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: this tedious and disruptive need.
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:
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Adepts
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: Adept sorcerers do not deceive themselves into thinking they can
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: successfully order up a convenient demonic need, instead they
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: practice austere restraint and mental detachment during binding
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: rituals in an attempt to reduce the chaos inherent in the
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: process. The object is to quell ones own fears and conceal or
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: disperse all emotional baggage to prevent the demon from
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: fixating on something that will cause the sorcerer excessive
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: distress. Whether this is more effective than any other matter
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: has not been systematically reviewed.
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Outline
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: I have no idea how writers write outlines for their stories.
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Chapter Ideas
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She spoke to me.
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Meeting her online
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Masked in a game. She 'makes' me. There is another word
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: A word that means she sees through my pseudo and spots me for
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: what I am: an online cross-dresser. Try to find a way to capture
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: the most embarrassing way for that to occur. She catches me but
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: is also able to stop me from running... no, better yet she lets
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: me ditch and run; destroy my online profile; come back again and
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: she makes me all over again. It's a game to her. She's dying
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: laughing.
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Caligula
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: Could even put that game in here. Events could occur in Cali...
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: with plebs and pats and the guild and the necrolord Gaius etc.
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Friendship
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: Somehow after teasing and bullying me online in my favourite
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: game she win me over. She claims my trust or interest at least.
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: I might develop a small hopeless, unrequited crush on her but
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: nothing that overtakes the core attraction: her hints of
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: forbidden knowledge. I guess that her powers and even her
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: existence hint at forbidden knowledge. Knowledge that I
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: desperately desire. Sorcery.
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Meeting Edward.
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: Eventually she will convince me that I need to meet Edward. In
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: person.
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Who is the demon?
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: So it might either be her or Edward. Not sure. The demon can't
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: teach me sorcery on its own. Only the sorcerer can initiate me
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: into lore. Perhaps.
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Does it matter?
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: Check the book for rules, but I doubt they exist, on this.
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So who cares, what about the meeting?
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: Whoever the sorcerer is, only meeting in person will allow me to
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: be initiated. Why am I a suitable candidate? Does it matter?
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What does it cost?
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: Meeting in person means travelling. I can't think of a situation
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: with more awkward obstacles to travelling like this than the
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: present time and place.
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COVID etc.
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Where are they?
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The first place that came to mind was California.
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The second was London.
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: But that out of the way, they could be anywhere. Take some time,
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: think it through. No rush.
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Where was I?
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The first place to come to mind is Halifax. But do I want it?
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Do I want to truk with real places? I kinda do but...
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: Well try Halifax to start with. Will that sink the project? I
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: guess I don't care do I.
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So how about the meeting.
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: Well besides the international travel, during a pandemic, I (the
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: protagonist and narrator) will have a full time job and a
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: family. So it's going to be crazy to come up with a pre-text for
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: this trip. Will it even be possible?
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:
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: Might even require some serious research to come up with a plan.
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:
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: Of course the reason for the visit is as unnaceptable as you
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: would think, so there is a challenge in constructing a ruse, or
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: cover for the trip. Probably only the death of a relative or...
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: hmm so hard to say. Perhaps I'll need to create a fictional
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: family and occupation sufficiently distinct from my own to take
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: out some of the sting of imaginary deception. Hmmmm.
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Learning Sorcery
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: I'm envisioning a really horrific core aesthetic and tone, heavy
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: inspiration from Tazmuir's Magician's Apprentice. Also disturbing
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: sexual overtones and dominance. The sorcerer and demon I meet are
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: overwhelming, possessive, sadistic, utterly dominant. I find myself
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: completely helpless and submissive. I'm aware that they are using me
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: for their own inscrutable ends, that they care less than nothing for
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: me or my soul, but I am completely willing.
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:
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: The knowledge and power they offer is undeniably real, utterly
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: transgressive, unwholesome, destructive and I want it. Getting it
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: is the incidental reward for my submission. Not that it was even
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: offered as a reward. I think I'm drawing on a lot of vampyrism
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: tropes. Teaching someone sorcery is done for similarly selfish and
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: casual reasons to making someone a vampire in mainstream lore.
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:
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: An apt pupil is chosen perhaps without consideration but the bond is
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: permanent, almost anyways and strong. Having initiated me into the
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: lore, they will be bound to me for life, mostly.
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:
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: What else is involved in learning sorcery? One learns to extract
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: power from sacrifices, to adhere to the demonic laws. Then finally
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: one learns the rituals and the routines.
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Indulging in Sorcery
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: So major action in the middle of the plot will be constructing the
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: alternate life I craved, the transformation, etc. So the roughest
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: premise is to summon a demon whose body I can either possess or swap
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: or 'ride along' with. The demon is a passing demon in the shape of a
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: human woman. Getting to live out a life in her body however entails
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: immense logistical challenges. Fundamentally it is about the toxic
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: wish-fulfilling desire to have my cake and eat her too. There is no
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: "coming out". Merely a hell's spells enhanced cross-dressing fetish
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: which I allow to destroy my life. The story captures my layers of
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: self-contempt... but it is not meant to invalidate real people. but
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: it will if I'm not careful and don't think this through carefully.
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: Hmmm.
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:
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: Anyways the logistical challenges of living life part-time in a body
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: which should not exist, which has no legal identity, but has demonic
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: needs will probably require resorting to additional sorcery to
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: sustain. With additional sorcery, and it's requisite loss in
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: humanity... the problems will mount.
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Real trans
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: What would my relationship be like to the trans community? I can
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: see so many problems. Interesting problems. Like infiltration
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: and impostor problems. Yum. But writing in these problems is
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: probably necessary to make it clear that the self-indictment is
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: not meant to target the real trans community. And to avoid
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: splash damage.
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:
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: an easy trope might be the attempt to tempt an trans person
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: become an initiate in a way similar to how I was drawn in. But
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: the 'real' person rejects my deep inherent inauthenticity making
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: a statement about ... I don't know yet.
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Taking Poor Edward to Hell
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: As an aside, not necessarily useful to the story. What about the
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: dying. Becoming a kind of parasite on the back of my demon's head?
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Coming out and/or validating the lie.
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faking my own death
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: absurdly cruel and inhuman
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faking GRS
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: extremely tricky, literally too good to be true
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banishing the demon
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: also tricky redemption path
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: beginning a path of mortal transition, surgical or otherwise.
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Settling down.
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Collateral Sorcery
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: How much interest and capacity would I have to utilize Sorcery
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: in other aspects of life? How much story would happen.
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: On one hand it would be unnecessary to use non-gender quest
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: related kickers to drive the story. The pull to keep pushing
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: boundaries, once the first functional body was possessed will no
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: doubt lead to enough complications on its own. However, incidentally
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: some of these little events could easily
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:
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