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@ -1,9 +1,9 @@
"Fuck!"
Gideon swore. "Fuck!"
Gideon tried to use her right arm, without dropping her bastard sword, to wipe
the blood off of her forehead. The ragged sleeves of her cultist robes were
already soaked through and the gesture only smeared sanguinous
She tried to use her right arm, without dropping her enormous sword, to wipe
the blood off of her forehead before it dripped into her eyes. But the shredded sleeves
of her cultist robes were already soaked through and the gesture only smeared sanguinous
sludge over her nose and mouth.
"Fuck. FUCK!" Gideon uttered. In frustration she started to use the back of
@ -13,6 +13,8 @@ to her left wrist. She stopped herself only a split second prior to neatly gougi
the last pair of functioning eyeballs out of her now less than fully
functional skull.
"Did I say fuck yet? Because seriously, fuck this ... Oh FUCK NO!"
Moving her left hand also made her lose her
grip on the princess's body. It slipped out of her grip and fell further into the
pit, dislodging two other precariously piled corpses and threatening to start a
@ -20,7 +22,7 @@ charnel avalanche which would bury Gideon in cadavers.
"OMG Gideon what are you doing!? You let it go! I swear on our
eternal rotting goddess, if you don't bring my body back in one piece I'll
personally feed your fingers one by one to the ommigrindr. I'm not bluffing!"
personally feed your fingers to the ommigrindr. I'm not bluffing!"
The dead princess was bluffing, but calling her bluff would be at least two
thirds as painful as the actual omnigrindr, so Gideon said nothing. Instead,
@ -30,7 +32,7 @@ closer and closer to the aperture. Aiming from memory, she then swung her great
sword backwards, up and out of the pit. With even a little luck it should land
in something soft, (hopefully a priest), and stay. With Gideon's luck it would
no doubt spin in three perfect circles before plunging straight through her
skull.
skull. That would shut.
"OMG Gideon, what are you doing? That was your sword!" the once and past
princess pronounced helpfully. "Why did you do that!?"
@ -39,15 +41,41 @@ princess pronounced helpfully. "Why did you do that!?"
you back, right?"
"OMG Gideon what are you thinking? I can't... we can't afford... there is
absolutely... Oh. Ha. Ha."
absolutely... Oh. Ha ha. Ha."
Death, (or undeath as it might be), must have improved the princess's powers of
perception because it was typically the next day before she detected sarcasm.
"OMG Gideon what are you doing!? Ahh look look it's going to fall in. Get it!
"OMG Gideon what are you doing!? Ahh! Ahh look it's going to fall in. Get it!
Why aren't you looking!? Save it! Save me!"
No matter how many times she had haunted Gideon, the princess couldn't seem to,
or couldn't be bothered more like, to understand the basics of parasitic possession
and never realized that she could only ever see exactly, no
or couldn't be bothered more like, to understand the basics of parasitic possession.
She never accepted that she could only ever see exactly what Gideon was seeing
with her own, adequately functioning eyeballs no more no less. What Gideon was seeing
was this: the precious royal corpse was starting to come unwound, its linen strips
unravelling as it slipped and rolled over fresher, more fetid, human remains on its
way toward the aperture at the bottom of the huge conical pit that Gideon and descended
into on a rescue mission for the terminally damned. The aperture was a narrow choke
point exactly like the throat of and hourglass. But instead of sand measuring minutes,
the gently used, previously owned, second hand flesh-houses of humans measured
eternity as they periodically tumbled into a stinking scarab-infested cavern below.
The bodies came from all over. Most were offered by devout descendants of their lately
devout ancestors. The Emperor Undying sent a regular shipment of 'retired' slaves from
the arena or the mines. The army contributed a regular, though surprisingly modest---all
things considered, share. But not all deceased homo-sapiens were appropriate offerings
to the pit. For example the mummified corpse of the unholy princess of misery was a
completely innapropriate offering---as the princess herself had been quick to point out.
The bureaucratic error that had led to the present scenario was one of such gravity that
mere death (even if preceded by unspeakable torture) would not have been sufficient
punishment. However justice is blind, stupid and utterly corruptible; the very office that
originated this unforgivable sin had managed to arrange things so that it became entirely
Gideon's problem. The ghastly princess herself seemed to lose all interest incriminating
the actual guilty party upon realizing she had obtained the opportunity to nag and torment
Gideon, albeit briefly if the swordswoman was not successful.
Gideon blinked. Sand scratched the inside of her eyelids. She wished devoutly that the
princess could feel that too. Holding her breath and moving slowly she gingerly bend her
knees and reached down to take hold of the end of the princess's linen wrappings which
extened like a long fuse toward the ...