silk

B1-Caligula/c1-naked.md

@@ -1,6 +1,6 @@
 # Chapter 1
 # Naked and Alone
-I woke up naked and alone in a cold dark prison cell. I had no memory of how I
+41 I woke up naked and alone in a cold dark prison cell. I had no memory of how I
 got here. In fact as I thought about it I couldn't remember anything about 
 anything. How cliche I thought, amnesia! I shivered and looked down at my body.
 Against all the odds I found myself in good health, clean, and uninjured. I ran
@@ -14,3 +14,53 @@ association but nothing came. Or maybe I'm some sort of an outlaw. Who might
 have captured me I wondered, and placed me in this cell. I gingerly touched my
 face and discovered another cruel long gash extending from my forehead, crossing
 my left eye, cheek, and lips. 
+
+Wow, I thought, it is a wonder I'm not blind in that eye, or maybe I am? I
+closed my eye and gently touched the outside of my eyelid. It felt okay but how
+can I tell? My cell was pitch black [[ed. you just looked at your own skin so
+make up your mind]]. Perhaps I was totally blind, but I didn't think so. I had
+it in my mind that being actually blind would somehow be different from total
+darkness, but I couldn't remember where I got such an idea. About then another
+idea came into my head. If I never see any light will I eventually lose my mind?
+I felt like that was a thing. I started then to wonder whether worrying about
+losing my mind could cause me to panic. I didn't feel panicked. I didn't even
+feel as worried as I think a woman should feel upon finding herself naked and
+alone in a dungeon cell. I only felt a kind of eager anticipation, almost
+exhilaration. Weird. I'm pretty sure that's not how people are supposed to feel
+in prisons or dungeons or ... oubliettes. Oh my god what a word. Oubliette. A
+place where prisoners were thrown to be forgotten. Was I being starved? I had no
+memory of ever having been fed in this place. Wait maybe the oubliette has made
+me forget everything. I don't think that's what the word is supposed to mean but
+then how can I trust anything. The notion of being left to die of thirst of
+starvation should be really horrifying. Surely that idea should get my heart
+racing and make me start to hyperventilate with anxiety or something. But no. I
+put my hand on my neck to feel my pulse. Calm and relaxed. How smooth my throat
+felt. No marks or scars. I wondered how I looked. Immediately an image appeared
+of a woman, strong, lean, athletic. Beautiful but rough edged, skin that matched
+the endless red sands of... of where? Where was I from? Where had I been? My
+hair was closely shaved on each side but jutted out in thick red spiky locks all
+over the top of my crown. 
+
+Was that really me I was seeing in my minds eye? Well I hope so because if so I
+am extremely hot. I wondered if I was getting my memories back. I reached up and
+touched the sides of my head and the crown, close shaved and messy just as I
+imagined. Is this proof my memories are returning? It didn't feel like that, if
+anything it felt almost as though my hair hadn't existed until I thought about
+it. As though my own imagination was leading the way. Dream! That's it this is
+probably a dream. If I just wait I'll probably wake up now that I've identified
+the situation. I waited. I did not wake up. Nothing happened. I couldn't decide
+what was going on. It was hard to pin down why but none of this felt the way I
+imagine recovering from memory loss should feel. But then what would I know
+about recovering from amnesia would feel like? This entire train of thought was
+rapidly going nowhere so I derailed it and returned to more scientific
+questions. 
+
+Like how do I even know I'm really in a dungeon. This took no time to to
+confirm. I reached out with both arms to each side of me and immediately slammed
+my right into a dry stone wall and found my left hand coming up against the icy
+cold iron bars of a cell. "Hmph" I snorted half in pain, and half in fear that I
+might have called these stupid bars into existence by imagining them. That would
+be idiotic. Surely I could have the presence of mind have imagined myself waking
+up beneath silk sheets on a luxurious palanquin begin carried towards a soothing
+tropical oasis or riad. Or in a temple surrounded by devoted dancers... I took a
+moment