5 GOT 400
  10 PRINT "HELLO, I'M AN EDUSYSTEM-25. MY NAME IS PETEY P. EIGHT."
  20 PRI\PRI "WHAT'S YOUR NAME";\LINPUT A$\PRI
  35 PRI " HI THERE ";\GOSUB500\PRI".  ARE YOU ENJOYING YOURSELF HERE
  40 PRI "IN BEAUTIFUL MAYNARD, MASS";
  45 INP B$\PRI
  50 IF B$="YES" THEN 70
  55 IF B$="NO" THEN 80
  60 PRI " ";\GOSUB500\PRI", I DON'T UNDERSTAND YOUR ANSWER OF '"B$"'."
  65 PRI "PLEASE ANSWER 'YES' OR 'NO'.  DO YOU LIKE IT HERE
  67 GOT 40
  70 PRI "OH, I'M GALD TO HERE THAT ";\GOSUB500\PRI
  75 GOT 100
  80 PRI "OH, SORRY TO HEAR THAT ";\GOSUB 500\PRI ", MAYBE WE CAN
  85 PRI "BRIGHTEN UP YOUR STAY A BIT
 100 PRI
 105 PRI "SAY, ";\GOSUB500\PRI", I CAN SOLVE ALL KINDS OF PROBLEMS
 110 PRI "EXCEPT THOSE DEALING WITH GREECE.  WHAT KIND OF
 115 PRI "PROBLEMS DO YOU HAVE (ANSWER SEX, HEALTH, MONEY,
 120 PRI "OR JOB)";
 125 INP C$\PRI
 130 IF C$="SEX" THEN 200
 132 IF C$="HEALTH" THEN 180
 134 IF C$="MONEY" THEN 160
 136 IF C$="JOB" THEN 145
 138 PRI "OH, ";\GOSUB500\PRI", YOUR ANSWER OF '"C$"' IS GREEK TO ME."
 140 GOT 250
 145 PRI "I CAN SYMPATHIZE WITH YOU ";\GOSUB500\PRI". I HAVE TO WORK
 148 PRI "VERY LONG HOURS FOR NO PAY -- AND SOME OF MY BOSSES REALLY
 150 PRI"BEAT MY KEYBOARD. MY ADVICE TO YOU ";\GOSUB500\PRI", IS TO SELL
 153 PRI "IN THE EDUCATION MARKET.  IT'S GREAT FUN.
 155 GOT 250
 160 PRI "SORRY, ";\GOSUB500\PRI", I'M BROKE TOO.  WHY DON'T YOU SELL
 163 PRI "ENCYCLOPAEDIAS OR MARRY SOMEONE RICH OR STOP EATING
 165 PRI "SO YOU WON'T NEED SO MUCH MONEY?
 170 GOT 250
 180 PRI "MY ADVICE TO YOU ";\GOSUB500\PRI", IS:
 185 PRI "     1. TAKE TWO ASPRIN
 188 PRI "     2. DRINK PLENTY OF FLUIDS (ORANGE JUICE, NOT BEER!)
 190 PRI "     3. GO TO BED (ALONE)
 195 GOT 250
 200 PRI "IS YOUR PROBLEM TOO MUCH OR TOO LITTLE";
 205 INP D$\PRI
 210 IF D$="TOO MU" THEN 220
 213 IF D$="TOO LI" THEN 230
 215 PRI "DON'T GET ALL SHOOK ";\GOS 500\PRI ",JUST ANSWER THE QUESTION
 217 PRI "WITH 'TOO MUCH' OR 'TOO LITTLE'.  WHICH IS IT";
 218 GOT 205
 220 PRI "YOU CALL THAT A PROBLEM?!!  I SHOULD HAVE SUCH PROBLEMS!
 225 PRI "IF IT BOTHERS YOU, TAKE A COLD SHOWER ";\GOSUB500\PRI"."
 228 GOT 250
 230 PRI "WHY ARE YOU HERE  ";\GOSUB500\PRI"?  YOU SHOULD BE
 235 PRI "IN TOKYO OR NEW YORK OR AMSTERDAM OR SOMEPLACE WITH SOME
 240 PRI "REAL ACTION.
 250 PRI
 255 PRI "ANY MORE PROBLEMS YOU WANT SOLVED, ";\GOSUB500\PRI;
 260 INP E$\PRI
 270 IF E$="YES" THEN 280
 273 IF E$="NO" THEN 300
 275 PRI "JUST A SIMPLE 'YES' OR 'NO' PLEASE, ";\GOSUB500\PRI"."
 278 GOT 255
 280 PRI "WHAT KIND (SEX, MONEY, HEALTH, JOB)";
 285 GOT 125
 300 PRI
 302 PRI "THAT WILL BE $5.00 FOR THE ADVICE, ";\GOSUB500\PRI"."
 305 PRI "PLEASE LEAVE THE MONEY ON THE TERMINAL. "
 307 PRI\PRI\PRI
 310 PRI "DID YOU LEAVE THE MONEY";
 315 INP G$\PRI
 325 IF G$="YES" THEN 350
 330 IF G$="NO" THEN 370
 335 PRI "YOUR ANSWER OF '"G$"' CONFUSES ME, ";\GOSUB500\PRI".  PLEASE
 340 PRI "RESPOND WITH A 'YES' OR 'NO'.
 345 GOT 310
 350 PRI "HEY, ";\GOSUB500\PRI"???   YOU LEFT NO MONEY AT ALL!
 355 PRI "YOU ARE CHEATING ME OUT OF MY HARD-EARNED LIVING.
 360 PRI "RIP OFF, ";\GOSUB500\PRI". *=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*
 365 GOT 390
 370 PRI "THAT'S HONEST, ";\GOSUB500\PRI", BUT HOW DO YOU EXPECT
 375 PRI "ME TO GO ON WITH MY PSYCHOLOGY STUDIES IF MY PATIENTS DON'T
 380 PRI "PAY THEIR BILLS?
 385 PRI\PRI\PRI "NOW LET ME TALK TO SOMEONE ELSE.
 390 PRI "NICE MEETING YOU ";\GOS 500\PRI ". HAVE A NICE DAY!!
 400 FOR N=1 TO 7
 402 PRI
 405 NEX N
 410 GOT 10
 500 T=A$(0)\FOR I=1 TO INT(T/6+1)\PRINT A$(I);\NEXT I
 510 RETURN
 999 END