From adc0faad5574f9dfc46082fc28f6868b81029cac Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: j3zibl Date: Thu, 22 Oct 2020 09:16:13 -0300 Subject: [PATCH] edit --- twofatal.md | 196 ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++------------------------ 1 file changed, 104 insertions(+), 92 deletions(-) diff --git a/twofatal.md b/twofatal.md index 54834a6..adea906 100644 --- a/twofatal.md +++ b/twofatal.md @@ -1,127 +1,139 @@ -Gideon swore again. +Gideon started swearing again. "Fuck!" -The blood in on her forehead was starting to drip along her eyebrow, tickling as -is grew ready to flow along the bridge of her nose and right into her eye. +The blood in on her forehead was starting to drip along her eyebrow, tickling +as is grew ready to flow along the bridge of her nose and right into her eye. She tried to use her right arm, without dropping her enormous sword, to wipe -the it off of her forehead before it dripped into her eyes. But the shredded sleeves -of her cultist robes were already soaked through and the gesture only smeared sanguinous -sludge over her nose and mouth. +the it off of her forehead before it dripped into her eyes. But the shredded +sleeves of her cultist robes were already soaked through and the gesture only +smeared sanguineous sludge over her nose and mouth. -"Fuck. FUCK!" Gideon swore. In frustration she started to use the back of -her other, less slimy hand, to do the job, forgetting about the razor sharp obsidian -knuckle knives strapped to her left wrist. She stopped herself only a cunt-hairs breadth -away from gouging the last pair of functioning eyeballs out of her skull. She still needed -those. +"Fuck. FUCK!" Gideon swore. In frustration she started to use the back of her +other, less slimy hand, to do the job, forgetting about the razor sharp +obsidian knuckle knives strapped to her left wrist. She stopped herself only a +cunt-hairs breadth away from gouging the last pair of functioning eyeballs out +of her skull. She still needed those. "Did I say fuck yet? Because seriously, fuck this ... Oh FUCK NO!" -Moving her left hand had made her lose her grip on the princess's body. It slipped out from -under her arm and fell back further into the pit, dislodging other precariously piled corpses -and threatening to start a charnel avalanche which would bury Gideon in fresh human remains. +Moving her left hand had made her lose her grip on the princess's body. It +slipped out from under her arm and fell back further into the pit, dislodging +other precariously piled corpses and threatening to start a charnel avalanche +which would bury Gideon in fresh human remains. -"OMG Gideon what are you doing!? You let it go! I swear on our -eternal rotting goddess, if you don't bring my body back in one piece I'll -personally feed your fingers to the ommigrindr. I'm not bluffing!" +"OMG Gideon what are you doing!? You let it go! I swear on our eternal rotting +goddess, if you don't bring my body back in one piece I'll personally feed your +fingers to the ommigrindr. I'm not bluffing!" -The dead princess was bluffing, but calling her bluff would be nearly as painful -as the actual omnigrindr, so Gideon said nothing. Instead, -she craned her neck to keep her still-functioning eyeballs glued to the -desicated royal corpse as it continued to slide deeper into the pit, -closer to the aperture. Aiming from memory, she then swung her great -sword backwards, tossing it up and out of the pit. With normal luck it should land -in something soft, (hopefully a priest), and stay put. With Gideon's luck it would -definitely spin in three perfect circles before plunging straight back down through -her skull. At least that would shut the princess up. +The dead princess was bluffing, but calling her bluff would be nearly as +painful as the actual omnigrindr, so Gideon said nothing. Instead, she craned +her neck to keep her still-functioning eyeballs glued to the desiccated royal +corpse as it continued to slide deeper into the pit, closer to the aperture. +Aiming from memory, she then swung her great sword backwards, tossing it up and +out of the pit. With normal luck it should land in something soft, (hopefully a +priest), and stay put. With Gideon's luck it would definitely spin in three +perfect circles before plunging straight back down through her skull. At least +that would shut the princess up. "OMG Gideon, what are you doing? That was your sword!" the once and former princess pronounced helpfully. "Why did you do that!?" -"It's okay your highness. I'm sure you'll buy me a new one as soon as we bring +"It's okay your highness. I'm sure you'll buy me a new one as soon as we bring you back, right?" -"OMG Gideon what are you thinking? I can't... we can't afford... there is +"OMG Gideon what are you thinking? I can't... we can't afford... there is absolutely no... Oh. Ha ha. Ha." -Death, (or undeath as it might be), must have improved the princess's powers of -perception because it was typically the next day before she detected sarcasm, if -ever. +Death, (or undeath as it might be), must have improved the princess's powers of +perception because it was typically the next day before she detected sarcasm, +if ever. -"OMG Gideon what are you doing!? Ahh! Ahh look it's going to fall in. Get it! +"OMG Gideon what are you doing!? Ahh! Ahh look it's going to fall in. Get it! Why aren't you looking!? Save it! Save me!" -No matter how many times she had haunted Gideon, the princess couldn't seem, or couldn't -be bothered more like, to understand the basics of parasitic possession. -She never accepted that she could only ever see exactly what Gideon was seeing -with her own, adequately functioning, eyeballs no more no less. Right now what Gideon -was seeing was this: the precious corpse was starting to come unwound, its linen strips -unravelling as it slipped and rolled over fresher, more fetid, human remains on its -way toward the aperture at the bottom of the huge conical pit that Gideon and descended -into on a rescue mission for the terminally damned. The aperture was a narrow choke -point exactly like the throat of and hourglass. But instead of sand measuring minutes, -the gently used, previously owned, second hand flesh-houses of humans measured -eternity as they periodically tumbled into a stinking scarab-infested cavern below. +No matter how many times she had haunted Gideon, the princess couldn't seem, or +couldn't be bothered more like, to understand the basics of parasitic +possession. She never accepted that she could only ever see exactly what +Gideon was seeing with her own, adequately functioning, eyeballs no more no +less. Right now what Gideon was seeing was this: the precious corpse was +starting to come unwound, its linen strips unravelling as it slipped and rolled +over fresher, more fetid, human remains on its way toward the aperture at the +bottom of the huge conical pit that Gideon and descended into on a rescue +mission for the terminally damned. The aperture was a narrow choke point +exactly like the throat of and hourglass. But instead of sand measuring +minutes, the gently used, previously owned, second hand flesh-houses of humans +measured eternity as they periodically tumbled into a stinking scarab-infested +cavern below. -The bodies came from all over. Most were offered by devout descendants of their lately -devout ancestors. The Emperor Undying sent a regular shipment of 'retired' slaves from -the arena or the mines. The army contributed a regular, though surprisingly modest---all -things considered, share. But not all deceased homo-sapiens were appropriate offerings -to the pit. For example the mummified corpse of the unholy princess of misery was a -completely innapropriate offering---as the princess herself had been quick to point out. -The bureaucratic error that had led to the present scenario was one of such gravity that -mere death (even if preceded by unspeakable torture) would not have been sufficient -punishment. However justice is blind, stupid and utterly corruptible; the very office that -originated this unforgivable sin had managed to arrange things so that it became entirely -Gideon's problem. The ghastly princess herself seemed to lose all interest incriminating -the actual guilty party upon realizing she had obtained the opportunity to nag and torment +The bodies came from all over. Most were offered by devout descendants of their +lately devout ancestors. The Emperor Undying sent a regular shipment of +'retired' slaves from the arena or the mines. The army contributed a regular, +though surprisingly modest---all things considered, share. But not all deceased +homo-sapiens were appropriate offerings to the pit. For example the mummified +corpse of the unholy princess of misery was a completely inappropriate +offering---as the princess herself had been quick to point out. The +bureaucratic error that had led to the present scenario was one of such gravity +that mere death (even if preceded by unspeakable torture) would not have been +sufficient punishment. However justice is blind, stupid and utterly +corruptible; the very office that originated this unforgivable sin had managed +to arrange things so that it became entirely Gideon's problem. The ghastly +princess herself seemed to lose all interest incriminating the actual guilty +party upon realizing she had obtained the opportunity to nag and torment Gideon, albeit briefly if the swordswoman was not successful. -Gideon blinked. Sand scratched the inside of her eyelids. She wished devoutly that the -princess could feel that too. Holding her breath and moving slowly she gingerly bent her -knees and reached down to take hold of the end of the princess's linen wrappings which -extened like a long fuse toward the regal stiff which was still unravelling slowly. +Gideon blinked. Sand scratched the inside of her eyelids. She wished devoutly +that the princess could feel that too. Holding her breath and moving slowly she +gingerly bent her knees and reached down to take hold of the end of the +princess's linen wrappings which extended like a long fuse toward the regal +stiff which was still unravelling slowly. Gideon swore again. -"You fucking better have something on under those bandages, your highness. If I have to see -your sundried titties or your fosilized fanny I'll rip each of my eyes out and throw -them in the pit after you." +"You fucking better have something on under those bandages, your highness. If I +have to see your sun-dried titties or your fossilized fanny I'll rip each of my +eyes out and throw them in the pit after you." -"OMG Gideon what are you talking about! I'm ravishing and you know it. You should be so -lucky." +"OMG Gideon what are you talking about! I'm ravishing and you know it. You +should be so lucky." -This was not the first time the princess revealed that despite seeing through Gideon's -completely operational eyeballs, her vision was gravely flawed. +This was not the first time the princess revealed that despite seeing through +Gideon's completely operational eyeballs, her vision was gravely flawed. -Gideon, still holding her breath, gently tugged at the the cloth, the body started to roll faster. -She gave a tremendous, pull hoping to snap the regal corpus back up towards her like a yo-yo. -The force of the did flick the little morsel of dried princess meat into the air for a second -before it tumbled directly through the aperture. +Gideon, still holding her breath, gently tugged at the cloth, the body +started to roll faster. She gave a tremendous, pull hoping to snap the regal +corpus back up towards her like a yo-yo. The force of the did flick the little +morsel of dried princess meat into the air for a second before it tumbled +directly through the aperture. -The incorporeal princess screamed like a Saturday morning sacrifice victim from out of -the depths of Gideon's skull. Gideon hadn't thought her head had such impressive acoustics -but the spirit of the princess of misery's miserable shriek was reverberating through -her brain like a amphitheatre. The linen wrap end in her hand was momentarily slack as -the body tumbled into the void but then it grew taught with a sickening crack. Surely, -the princesses body would have crumbled into dust at that shock. But no, the concientious -embalmers of yesteryear must have done a good job of converting the petulant bitch's remains -into some sturdy taxidermy because it held. The same clever embalmer, bless her heart, must -also have had the stunning foresight to tie the shroud tightly around something, probably -the imperial neck bone, as insurance against exactly today's eventuality. +The incorporeal princess screamed like a Saturday morning sacrifice victim from +out of the depths of Gideon's skull. Gideon hadn't thought her head had such +impressive acoustics but the spirit of the princess of misery's miserable +shriek was reverberating through her brain like a amphitheatre. The linen wrap +end in her hand was momentarily slack as the body tumbled into the void but +then it grew taught with a sickening crack. Surely, the princesses body would +have crumbled into dust at that shock. But no, the conscientious embalmers of +yesteryear must have done a good job of converting the petulant bitch's remains +into some sturdy taxidermy because it held. The same clever embalmer, bless her +heart, must also have had the stunning foresight to tie the shroud tightly +around something, probably the imperial neck bone, as insurance against exactly +today's eventuality. -Gideon held firmly to the thin linen ribbon and could feel the body begin to swing at the other end. -It was terrifically light at least. It hadn't caused her to lose her footing only a few yards -away from the openning. Slipping now would mean falling, with the corpse, into a vast cavern. -With any luck, she'd break her neck. With Gideon's luck she'd break her legs and stay conscious -as the scarabs ate out her functional eyeballs, tongue, and tonsils before using her warm body -to incubate scarab eggs. Eventually they'd get around to eating the princess's chewy hide but no doubt -they would save if for last so Gideon would have some shrill complaining company during her last -miserable days of life. Though, come to think of it, the princessly ghost was strangely quiet -right now. Gideon decided not to think about what that might mean and dutifully started winding -her catch back in. +Gideon held firmly to the thin linen ribbon and could feel the body begin to +swing at the other end. It was terrifically light at least. It hadn't caused +her to lose her footing only a few yards away from the opening. Slipping now +would mean falling, with the corpse, into a vast cavern. With any luck, she'd +break her neck. With Gideon's luck she'd actually break her legs and stay +conscious as the scarabs ate out her functional eyeballs, tongue, and tonsils +before using her warm body to incubate scarab eggs. Eventually they'd get +around to eating the princess's chewy hide but no doubt they would save if for +last so Gideon would have some shrill complaining company during her last +miserable days of life. Though, come to think of it, the princessly +poltergeist was strangely quiet right now. Gideon decided not to think about +what that might mean and dutifully started winding her catch back in. -Angling for the dead like this had to be done slowly; to avoid slipping; for reasons that are now plainly -established. So Gideon had time to think. That was bad. +Angling for the dead like this had to be done slowly; to avoid slipping; for +reasons that are now plainly established. So Gideon had time to think. That was +unfortunate.