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twofatal.md
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twofatal.md
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this was two hours of fun writing that disapeared all at once.
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So don't trust web forms of course.
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"Fuck!"
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Gideon tried to use her right arm, without dropping her bastard sword, to wipe
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the blood off of her forehead. The ragged sleeves of her cultist robes were
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already soaked through and the gesture only resulted in smearing sanguinous
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sludge over her nose and mou..
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"Fuck FUCK!" Gideon swore again. In frustration she started to use the back of
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her other hand, which slightly less slimy, to do the job,
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forgetting as she did so about the razor sharp obsidian knuckle knives strapped
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to her left wrist. She stopped herself only a split second before neatly gouging
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her last pair of functioning eyeballs out of her now less than fully
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functional skull.
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Moving her left hand also had the unfortunate consequence of making her lose her
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grip on the princess's body.
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"OMG Gideon what are you doing!? You let it go! I swear on the
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eternal rotting goddess if you don't bring my body back in one piece I'll
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personally feed your fingers one by one to the ommigrindr. I'm not bluffing!"
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The dead princess was bluffing, but calling her bluff would be at least two
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thirds as painful as the actual omnigrindr, so Gideon said nothing. Instead,
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she craned her neck to keep her still-functioning eyeballs glued to the
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princess's desicated corpse as it continued to slide deeper into the pit,
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closer and closer to the aperture. Aiming from memory, she then swung her great
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sword backwards, up and out of the pit. With even a little luck it should land
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in something soft, (hopefully a priest), and stay. With Gideon's luck it would
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no doubt spin in three perfect circles before plunging straight through her
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skull.
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"OMG Gideon, what are you doing? That was your sword!" the once and past
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princess pronounced helpfully.
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The dead princess was bluffing, but calling her bluff would be at least two thirds as painful as the actual omnigrindr,
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so Gideon said nothing.
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