Update 'twofatal.md'
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twofatal.md
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twofatal.md
@ -1,9 +1,9 @@
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"Fuck!"
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Gideon swore. "Fuck!"
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Gideon tried to use her right arm, without dropping her bastard sword, to wipe
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She tried to use her right arm, without dropping her enormous sword, to wipe
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the blood off of her forehead. The ragged sleeves of her cultist robes were
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the blood off of her forehead before it dripped into her eyes. But the shredded sleeves
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already soaked through and the gesture only smeared sanguinous
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of her cultist robes were already soaked through and the gesture only smeared sanguinous
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sludge over her nose and mouth.
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sludge over her nose and mouth.
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"Fuck. FUCK!" Gideon uttered. In frustration she started to use the back of
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"Fuck. FUCK!" Gideon uttered. In frustration she started to use the back of
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@ -13,6 +13,8 @@ to her left wrist. She stopped herself only a split second prior to neatly gougi
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the last pair of functioning eyeballs out of her now less than fully
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the last pair of functioning eyeballs out of her now less than fully
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functional skull.
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functional skull.
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"Did I say fuck yet? Because seriously, fuck this ... Oh FUCK NO!"
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Moving her left hand also made her lose her
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Moving her left hand also made her lose her
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grip on the princess's body. It slipped out of her grip and fell further into the
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grip on the princess's body. It slipped out of her grip and fell further into the
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pit, dislodging two other precariously piled corpses and threatening to start a
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pit, dislodging two other precariously piled corpses and threatening to start a
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@ -20,7 +22,7 @@ charnel avalanche which would bury Gideon in cadavers.
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"OMG Gideon what are you doing!? You let it go! I swear on our
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"OMG Gideon what are you doing!? You let it go! I swear on our
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eternal rotting goddess, if you don't bring my body back in one piece I'll
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eternal rotting goddess, if you don't bring my body back in one piece I'll
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personally feed your fingers one by one to the ommigrindr. I'm not bluffing!"
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personally feed your fingers to the ommigrindr. I'm not bluffing!"
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The dead princess was bluffing, but calling her bluff would be at least two
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The dead princess was bluffing, but calling her bluff would be at least two
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thirds as painful as the actual omnigrindr, so Gideon said nothing. Instead,
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thirds as painful as the actual omnigrindr, so Gideon said nothing. Instead,
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@ -30,7 +32,7 @@ closer and closer to the aperture. Aiming from memory, she then swung her great
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sword backwards, up and out of the pit. With even a little luck it should land
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sword backwards, up and out of the pit. With even a little luck it should land
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in something soft, (hopefully a priest), and stay. With Gideon's luck it would
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in something soft, (hopefully a priest), and stay. With Gideon's luck it would
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no doubt spin in three perfect circles before plunging straight through her
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no doubt spin in three perfect circles before plunging straight through her
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skull.
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skull. That would shut.
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"OMG Gideon, what are you doing? That was your sword!" the once and past
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"OMG Gideon, what are you doing? That was your sword!" the once and past
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princess pronounced helpfully. "Why did you do that!?"
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princess pronounced helpfully. "Why did you do that!?"
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@ -39,15 +41,41 @@ princess pronounced helpfully. "Why did you do that!?"
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you back, right?"
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you back, right?"
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"OMG Gideon what are you thinking? I can't... we can't afford... there is
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"OMG Gideon what are you thinking? I can't... we can't afford... there is
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absolutely... Oh. Ha. Ha."
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absolutely... Oh. Ha ha. Ha."
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Death, (or undeath as it might be), must have improved the princess's powers of
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Death, (or undeath as it might be), must have improved the princess's powers of
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perception because it was typically the next day before she detected sarcasm.
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perception because it was typically the next day before she detected sarcasm.
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"OMG Gideon what are you doing!? Ahh look look it's going to fall in. Get it!
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"OMG Gideon what are you doing!? Ahh! Ahh look it's going to fall in. Get it!
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Why aren't you looking!? Save it! Save me!"
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Why aren't you looking!? Save it! Save me!"
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No matter how many times she had haunted Gideon, the princess couldn't seem to,
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No matter how many times she had haunted Gideon, the princess couldn't seem to,
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or couldn't be bothered more like, to understand the basics of parasitic possession
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or couldn't be bothered more like, to understand the basics of parasitic possession.
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and never realized that she could only ever see exactly, no
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She never accepted that she could only ever see exactly what Gideon was seeing
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with her own, adequately functioning eyeballs no more no less. What Gideon was seeing
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was this: the precious royal corpse was starting to come unwound, its linen strips
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unravelling as it slipped and rolled over fresher, more fetid, human remains on its
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way toward the aperture at the bottom of the huge conical pit that Gideon and descended
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into on a rescue mission for the terminally damned. The aperture was a narrow choke
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point exactly like the throat of and hourglass. But instead of sand measuring minutes,
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the gently used, previously owned, second hand flesh-houses of humans measured
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eternity as they periodically tumbled into a stinking scarab-infested cavern below.
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The bodies came from all over. Most were offered by devout descendants of their lately
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devout ancestors. The Emperor Undying sent a regular shipment of 'retired' slaves from
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the arena or the mines. The army contributed a regular, though surprisingly modest---all
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things considered, share. But not all deceased homo-sapiens were appropriate offerings
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to the pit. For example the mummified corpse of the unholy princess of misery was a
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completely innapropriate offering---as the princess herself had been quick to point out.
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The bureaucratic error that had led to the present scenario was one of such gravity that
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mere death (even if preceded by unspeakable torture) would not have been sufficient
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punishment. However justice is blind, stupid and utterly corruptible; the very office that
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originated this unforgivable sin had managed to arrange things so that it became entirely
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Gideon's problem. The ghastly princess herself seemed to lose all interest incriminating
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the actual guilty party upon realizing she had obtained the opportunity to nag and torment
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Gideon, albeit briefly if the swordswoman was not successful.
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Gideon blinked. Sand scratched the inside of her eyelids. She wished devoutly that the
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princess could feel that too. Holding her breath and moving slowly she gingerly bend her
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knees and reached down to take hold of the end of the princess's linen wrappings which
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extened like a long fuse toward the ...
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