Remove misc editorializing and irrelevant anecdotes

This commit is contained in:
Bob Mottram 2018-10-15 14:25:24 +01:00
parent e8937415bd
commit c499670228
14 changed files with 20 additions and 216 deletions

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@ -16,6 +16,4 @@ trendoid for victims of terminal hipness). This is probably traceable to the
popularization of the term droid in Star Wars and its sequels. (See also popularization of the term droid in Star Wars and its sequels. (See also
windoid. ) Coinages in both forms have been common in science fiction for at windoid. ) Coinages in both forms have been common in science fiction for at
least fifty years, and hackers (who are often SF fans) have probably been least fifty years, and hackers (who are often SF fans) have probably been
making -oid jargon for almost that long [though GLS and I can personally making -oid jargon for almost that long.
confirm only that they were already common in the mid-1970s ESR].

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@ -14,9 +14,5 @@ longer (a) is very painful, and (b) encourages bad habits that will make it
harder to use more powerful languages well. This wouldn't be so bad if harder to use more powerful languages well. This wouldn't be so bad if
historical accidents hadn't made BASIC so common on low-end micros in the historical accidents hadn't made BASIC so common on low-end micros in the
1980s. As it is, it probably ruined tens of thousands of potential wizards. 1980s. As it is, it probably ruined tens of thousands of potential wizards.
[1995: Some languages called BASIC aren't quite this nasty any more, having BASIC stands for Beginner's All-purpose Symbolic Instruction Code. Earlier
acquired Pascal- and C-like procedures and control structures and shed their versions of this entry claiming this was a later backronym were incorrect.
line numbers. ESR] BASIC stands for Beginner's All-purpose Symbolic
Instruction Code. Earlier versions of this entry claiming this was a later
backronym were incorrect.

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@ -10,6 +10,4 @@ too large to hold in even hackers' heads. Much of the cruft results from
C++'s attempt to be backward compatible with C. Stroustrup himself has said C++'s attempt to be backward compatible with C. Stroustrup himself has said
in his retrospective book The Design and Evolution of C++ (p. 207), Within in his retrospective book The Design and Evolution of C++ (p. 207), Within
C++, there is a much smaller and cleaner language struggling to get out. C++, there is a much smaller and cleaner language struggling to get out.
[Many hackers would now add Yes, and it's called Java ESR] Nowadays we say Nowadays we say this of C++.
this of C++.

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@ -15,12 +15,10 @@ languages have similar real types). When a hacker from MIT visited Stanford
in 1976, he remarked what a long road El Camino Real was. Making a pun on in 1976, he remarked what a long road El Camino Real was. Making a pun on
real , he started calling it El Camino Double Precision but when the hacker real , he started calling it El Camino Double Precision but when the hacker
was told that the road was hundreds of miles long, he renamed it El Camino was told that the road was hundreds of miles long, he renamed it El Camino
Bignum , and that name has stuck. (See bignum. ) [GLS has since let slip Bignum , and that name has stuck. (See bignum. ) In the early
that the unnamed hacker in this story was in fact himself ESR] In the early
1990s, the synonym El Camino Virtual was been reported as an alternate at 1990s, the synonym El Camino Virtual was been reported as an alternate at
IBM and Amdahl sites in the Valley. Mathematically literate hackers in the IBM and Amdahl sites in the Valley. Mathematically literate hackers in the
Valley have also been heard to refer to some major cross-street intersecting Valley have also been heard to refer to some major cross-street intersecting
El Camino Real as El Camino Imaginary. One popular theory is that the El Camino Real as El Camino Imaginary. One popular theory is that the
intersection is located near Moffett Field where they keep all those complex intersection is located near Moffett Field where they keep all those complex
planes. planes.

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@ -13,10 +13,4 @@ the lines of: Shub-Internet gulps down the tac nuke and burps happily. )
Also cursed by users of the Web, FTP and telnet when the network lags. The Also cursed by users of the Web, FTP and telnet when the network lags. The
dread name of Shub-Internet is seldom spoken aloud, as it is said that dread name of Shub-Internet is seldom spoken aloud, as it is said that
repeating it three times will cause the being to wake, deep within its lair repeating it three times will cause the being to wake, deep within its lair
beneath the Pentagon. Compare Random Number God. [January 1996: It develops beneath the Pentagon. Compare Random Number God.
that one of the computer administrators in the basement of the Pentagon read
this entry and fell over laughing. As a result, you too can now poke
Shub-Internet by ping ing shub-internet.ims.disa.mil. Compare kremvax. ESR]
[April 1999: shub-internet.ims.disa.mil is no more, alas. But Shub-Internet
lives, and even has a home page.

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@ -67,18 +67,6 @@ plausible conversation that never actually happened: There is a bug in this
ant farm! What do you mean? I don't see any ants in it. That's the bug. A ant farm! What do you mean? I don't see any ants in it. That's the bug. A
careful discussion of the etymological issues can be found in a paper by careful discussion of the etymological issues can be found in a paper by
Fred R. Shapiro, 1987, Entomology of the Computer Bug: History and Folklore Fred R. Shapiro, 1987, Entomology of the Computer Bug: History and Folklore
, American Speech 62(4):376-378. [There has been a widespread myth that the , American Speech 62(4):376-378. It helps to remember that this dates
original bug was moved to the Smithsonian, and an earlier version of this from 1973. (The next cartoon in the Crunchly saga is 73-10-31. The
entry so asserted. A correspondent who thought to check discovered that the previous cartoon was 73-07-24.
bug was not there. While investigating this in late 1990, your editor
discovered that the NSWC still had the bug, but had unsuccessfully tried to
get the Smithsonian to accept it and that the present curator of their
History of American Technology Museum didn't know this and agreed that it
would make a worthwhile exhibit. It was moved to the Smithsonian in
mid-1991, but due to space and money constraints was not actually exhibited
for years afterwards. Thus, the process of investigating the
original-computer-bug bug fixed it in an entirely unexpected way, by making
the myth true! ESR] It helps to remember that this dates from 1973. (The
next cartoon in the Crunchly saga is 73-10-31. The previous cartoon was
73-07-24.

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@ -14,9 +14,8 @@ the old Chevy Chase skit on Saturday Night Live should not be overlooked.
This was a Jaws parody. Someone lurking outside an apartment door tries all This was a Jaws parody. Someone lurking outside an apartment door tries all
kinds of bogus ways to get the occupant to open up, while ominous music kinds of bogus ways to get the occupant to open up, while ominous music
plays in the background. The last attempt is a half-hearted Candygram! When plays in the background. The last attempt is a half-hearted Candygram! When
the door is opened, a shark bursts in and chomps the poor occupant. [There the door is opened, a shark bursts in and chomps the poor occupant. There
is a similar gag in Blazing Saddles ESR] There is a moral here for those is a moral here for those attracted to candygrammars. Note that, in many
attracted to candygrammars. Note that, in many circles, pretty much the same circles, pretty much the same ones who remember Monty Python sketches,
ones who remember Monty Python sketches, all it takes is the word Candygram! all it takes is the word Candygram!, suitably timed, to get people
, suitably timed, to get people rolling on the floor. rolling on the floor.

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@ -1,11 +0,0 @@
choad
/chohd/ , n. Synonym for penis used in alt.tasteless and popularized by the
denizens thereof. They say: We think maybe it's from Middle English but
we're all too damned lazy to check the OED. [I'm not. It isn't. ESR] This
term is alleged to have been inherited through 1960s underground comics, and
to have been recently sighted in the Beavis and Butthead cartoons. Speakers
of the Hindi, Bengali and Gujarati languages have confirmed that choad is in
fact an Indian vernacular word equivalent to fuck ; it is therefore likely
to have entered English slang via the British Raj.

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@ -9,7 +9,5 @@ problem, because when they do that they get not ordinary or thin electrons,
but the fat'n'sloppy electrons that are heavier and so settle to the bottom but the fat'n'sloppy electrons that are heavier and so settle to the bottom
of the generator. These flow down ordinary wires just fine, but when they of the generator. These flow down ordinary wires just fine, but when they
have to turn a sharp corner (as in an integrated-circuit via), they're apt have to turn a sharp corner (as in an integrated-circuit via), they're apt
to get stuck. This is what causes computer glitches. [Fascinating. to get stuck. This is what causes computer glitches. Compare
Obviously, fat electrons must gain mass by bogon absorption ESR] Compare
bogon , magic smoke. bogon , magic smoke.

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@ -3,8 +3,4 @@ gorets
/gorets/ , n. The unknown ur-noun, fill in your own meaning. Found esp. on /gorets/ , n. The unknown ur-noun, fill in your own meaning. Found esp. on
the Usenet newsgroup alt.gorets , which seems to be a running contest to the Usenet newsgroup alt.gorets , which seems to be a running contest to
redefine the word by implication in the funniest and most peculiar way, with redefine the word by implication in the funniest and most peculiar way, with
the understanding that no definition is ever final. [A correspondent from the understanding that no definition is ever final. Compare frink.
the former Soviet Union informs me that gorets is Russian for mountain
dweller. Another from France informs me that goret is archaic French for a
young pig ESR] Compare frink.

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@ -4,32 +4,4 @@ kremvax
the form foovax ] Originally, a fictitious Usenet site at the Kremlin, the form foovax ] Originally, a fictitious Usenet site at the Kremlin,
announced on April 1, 1984 in a posting ostensibly originated there by announced on April 1, 1984 in a posting ostensibly originated there by
Soviet leader Konstantin Chernenko. The posting was actually forged by Piet Soviet leader Konstantin Chernenko. The posting was actually forged by Piet
Beertema as an April Fool's joke. Other fictitious sites mentioned in the Beertema as an April Fool's joke.
hoax were moskvax and kgbvax. This was probably the funniest of the many
April Fool's forgeries perpetrated on Usenet (which has negligible security
against them), because the notion that Usenet might ever penetrate the Iron
Curtain seemed so totally absurd at the time. In fact, it was only six years
later that the first genuine site in Moscow, demos.su , joined Usenet. Some
readers needed convincing that the postings from it weren't just another
prank. Vadim Antonov, senior programmer at Demos and the major poster from
there up to mid-1991, was quite aware of all this, referred to it frequently
in his own postings, and at one point twitted some credulous readers by
blandly asserting that he was a hoax! Eventually he even arranged to have
the domain's gateway site named kremvax , thus neatly turning fiction into
fact and demonstrating that the hackish sense of humor transcends cultural
barriers. [Mr. Antonov also contributed the Russian-language material for
this lexicon. ESR] In an even more ironic historical footnote, kremvax
became an electronic center of the anti-communist resistance during the
bungled hard-line coup of August 1991. During those three days the Soviet
UUCP network centered on kremvax became the only trustworthy news source for
many places within the USSR. Though the sysops were concentrating on
internal communications, cross-border postings included immediate
transliterations of Boris Yeltsin's decrees condemning the coup and
eyewitness reports of the demonstrations in Moscow's streets. In those
hours, years of speculation that totalitarianism would prove unable to
maintain its grip on politically-loaded information in the age of computer
networking were proved devastatingly accurate and the original kremvax joke
became a reality as Yeltsin and the new Russian revolutionaries of glasnost
and perestroika made kremvax one of the timeliest means of their outreach to
the West.

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@ -9,12 +9,4 @@ a whole season of Dallas was a dream was a retcon. 2. vt. To write such a
story about a character or fictitious object. Byrne has retconned Superman's story about a character or fictitious object. Byrne has retconned Superman's
cape so that it is no longer unbreakable. Marvelman's old adventures were cape so that it is no longer unbreakable. Marvelman's old adventures were
retconned into synthetic dreams. Swamp Thing was retconned from a retconned into synthetic dreams. Swamp Thing was retconned from a
transformed person into a sentient vegetable. [This term is included because transformed person into a sentient vegetable.
it is a good example of hackish linguistic innovation in a field completely
unrelated to computers. The word retcon will probably spread through comics
fandom and lose its association with hackerdom within a couple of years; for
the record, it started here. ESR] [1993 update: some comics fans on the net
now claim that retcon was independently in use in comics fandom before
rec.arts.comics , and have citations from around 1981. In lexicography,
nothing is ever simple.

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@ -1,114 +0,0 @@
saga
n. [WPI] A cuspy but bogus raving story about N random broken people. Here
is a classic example of the saga form, as told by Guy L. Steele: Jon L.
White (login name JONL) and I (GLS) were office mates at MIT for many years.
One April, we both flew from Boston to California for a week on research
business, to consult face-to-face with some people at Stanford, particularly
our mutual friend Richard P. Gabriel (RPG). RPG picked us up at the San
Francisco airport and drove us back to Palo Alto (going logical south on
route 101, parallel to El Camino Bignum ). Palo Alto is adjacent to Stanford
University and about 40 miles south of San Francisco. We ate at The Good
Earth, a health food restaurant, very popular, the sort whose milkshakes all
contain honey and protein powder. JONL ordered such a shake the waitress
claimed the flavor of the day was lalaberry. I still have no idea what that
might be, but it became a running joke. It was the color of raspberry, and
JONL said it tasted rather bitter. I ate a better tostada there than I have
ever had in a Mexican restaurant. After this we went to the local Uncle
Gaylord's Old Fashioned Ice Cream Parlor. They make ice cream fresh daily,
in a variety of intriguing flavors. It's a chain, and they have a slogan: If
you don't live near an Uncle Gaylord's MOVE! Also, Uncle Gaylord (a real
person) wages a constant battle to force big-name ice cream makers to print
their ingredients on the package (like air and plastic and other non-natural
garbage). JONL and I had first discovered Uncle Gaylord's the previous
August, when we had flown to a computer-science conference in Berkeley,
California, the first time either of us had been on the West Coast. When not
in the conference sessions, we had spent our time wandering the length of
Telegraph Avenue, which (like Harvard Square in Cambridge) was lined with
picturesque street vendors and interesting little shops. On that street we
discovered Uncle Gaylord's Berkeley store. The ice cream there was very
good. During that August visit JONL went absolutely bananas (so to speak)
over one particular flavor, ginger honey. Therefore, after eating at The
Good Earth indeed, after every lunch and dinner and before bed during our
April visit a trip to Uncle Gaylord's (the one in Palo Alto) was mandatory.
We had arrived on a Wednesday, and by Thursday evening we had been there at
least four times. Each time, JONL would get ginger honey ice cream, and
proclaim to all bystanders that Ginger was the spice that drove the
Europeans mad! That's why they sought a route to the East! They used it to
preserve their otherwise off-taste meat. After the third or fourth
repetition RPG and I were getting a little tired of this spiel, and began to
paraphrase him: Wow! Ginger! The spice that makes rotten meat taste good!
Say! Why don't we find some dog that's been run over and sat in the sun for
a week and put some ginger on it for dinner?! Right! With a lalaberry shake!
And so on. This failed to faze JONL; he took it in good humor, as long as we
kept returning to Uncle Gaylord's. He loves ginger honey ice cream. Now RPG
and his then-wife KBT (Kathy Tracy) were putting us up (putting up with us?)
in their home for our visit, so to thank them JONL and I took them out to a
nice French restaurant of their choosing. I unadventurously chose the filet
mignon, and KBT had je ne sais quoi du jour , but RPG and JONL had lapin
(rabbit). (Waitress: Oui , we have fresh rabbit, fresh today. RPG: Well,
JONL, I guess we won't need any ginger ! ) We finished the meal late, about
11PM, which is 2AM Boston time, so JONL and I were rather droopy. But it
wasn't yet midnight. Off to Uncle Gaylord's! Now the French restaurant was
in Redwood City, north of Palo Alto. In leaving Redwood City, we somehow got
onto route 101 going north instead of south. JONL and I wouldn't have known
the difference had RPG not mentioned it. We still knew very little of the
local geography. I did figure out, however, that we were headed in the
direction of Berkeley, and half-jokingly suggested that we continue north
and go to Uncle Gaylord's in Berkeley. RPG said Fine! and we drove on for a
while and talked. I was drowsy, and JONL actually dropped off to sleep for 5
minutes. When he awoke, RPG said, Gee, JONL, you must have slept all the way
over the bridge! , referring to the one spanning San Francisco Bay. Just
then we came to a sign that said University Avenue. I mumbled something
about working our way over to Telegraph Avenue; RPG said Right! and
maneuvered some more. Eventually we pulled up in front of an Uncle
Gaylord's. Now, I hadn't really been paying attention because I was so
sleepy, and I didn't really understand what was happening until RPG let me
in on it a few moments later, but I was just alert enough to notice that we
had somehow come to the Palo Alto Uncle Gaylord's after all. JONL noticed
the resemblance to the Palo Alto store, but hadn't caught on. (The place is
lit with red and yellow lights at night, and looks much different from the
way it does in daylight.) He said, This isn't the Uncle Gaylord's I went to
in Berkeley! It looked like a barn! But this place looks just like the one
back in Palo Alto! RPG deadpanned, Well, this is the one I always come to
when I'm in Berkeley. They've got two in San Francisco, too. Remember,
they're a chain. JONL accepted this bit of wisdom. And he was not totally
ignorant he knew perfectly well that University Avenue was in Berkeley, not
far from Telegraph Avenue. What he didn't know was that there is a
completely different University Avenue in Palo Alto. JONL went up to the
counter and asked for ginger honey. The guy at the counter asked whether
JONL would like to taste it first, evidently their standard procedure with
that flavor, as not too many people like it. JONL said, I'm sure I like it.
Just give me a cone. The guy behind the counter insisted that JONL try just
a taste first. Some people think it tastes like soap. JONL insisted, Look, I
love ginger. I eat Chinese food. I eat raw ginger roots. I already went
through this hassle with the guy back in Palo Alto. I know I like that
flavor! At the words back in Palo Alto the guy behind the counter got a very
strange look on his face, but said nothing. KBT caught his eye and winked.
Through my stupor I still hadn't quite grasped what was going on, and
thought RPG was rolling on the floor laughing and clutching his stomach just
because JONL had launched into his spiel ( makes rotten meat a dish for
princes ) for the forty-third time. At this point, RPG clued me in fully.
RPG, KBT, and I retreated to a table, trying to stifle our chuckles. JONL
remained at the counter, talking about ice cream with the guy b.t.c.,
comparing Uncle Gaylord's to other ice cream shops and generally having a
good old time. At length the g.b.t.c.: said, How's the ginger honey? JONL
said, Fine! I wonder what exactly is in it? Now Uncle Gaylord publishes all
his recipes and even teaches classes on how to make his ice cream at home.
So the g.b.t.c.: got out the recipe, and he and JONL pored over it for a
while. But the g.b.t.c.: could contain his curiosity no longer, and asked
again, You really like that stuff, huh? JONL said, Yeah, I've been eating it
constantly back in Palo Alto for the past two days. In fact, I think this
batch is about as good as the cones I got back in Palo Alto! G.b.t.c.:
looked him straight in the eye and said, You're in Palo Alto! JONL turned
slowly around, and saw the three of us collapse in a fit of giggles. He
clapped a hand to his forehead and exclaimed, I've been hacked! [My spies on
the West Coast inform me that there is a close relative of the raspberry
found out there called an ollalieberry ESR] [Ironic footnote: the meme about
ginger vs. rotting meat is an urban legend. It's not borne out by an
examination of medieval recipes or period purchase records for spices, and
appears full-blown in the works of Samuel Pegge, a gourmand and notorious
flake case who originated numerous food myths. The truth seems to be that
ginger was used to cover not rot but the extreme salt taste of meat packed
in brine, which was the best method available before refrigeration.

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@ -12,5 +12,5 @@ slurp. This program starts by snarfing the entire database into core,
then.... 5. [GEnie] To spray food or programming fluids due to laughing at then.... 5. [GEnie] To spray food or programming fluids due to laughing at
the wrong moment. I was drinking coffee, and when I read your post I snarfed the wrong moment. I was drinking coffee, and when I read your post I snarfed
all over my desk. If I keep reading this topic, I think I'll have to all over my desk. If I keep reading this topic, I think I'll have to
snarf-proof my computer with a keyboard condom. [This sense appears to be snarf-proof my computer with a keyboard condom. The sound of snarfing
widespread among mundane teenagers ESR] The sound of snarfing is splork!. is splork!.